A GOOSE IS NOT A GARBAGE CAN

I bet you anything those two juice bottles do not belong to those two geese.

This image really hits home the whole 'paved paradise and put up a parking lot' idea. Bad enough we're trying to carve out a living in the desolation of a city of parking lots -- but just look what our wildlife ends up with: a patch of gravelly grass where people have idly thrown their recyclables.

When I was taking this photo, a woman walked by and said, "What a crappy place to build a nest." I wondered if she meant the geese had chosen a stupid place to take a rest. I'd like to think she meant that humans' wastefulness and environmental destruction is leaving little choice for passerby creatures.

Let's be clean when we're not being dirty, friends.

FREE READ! Cocktails at Bedtime

I'm happy to be able to share with y'all --free of charge-- a cute little story called, Cocktails at Bedtime.

I would categorize this read as 'the sitcom of erotic fiction,' a short humorous tale, more R-rated than the raunchy porn I often peddle. Darling and inoffensive. I promise to offend you all some other time, don't worry.

Cocktails at Bedtime can be read right now for free at Hips and Curves, a plus-size lingerie site that carries some really gorgeous apparel. You'll see at the bottom of the screen the words, "Curvy, Confident, Fabulous!" and that's the spirit in which I wrote Cocktails at Bedtime. Curvy women are fabulous and I wish they all shared in the lovely spirit of confidence that comes across at Hips and Curves.

I was encouraged to write for this site because I love, love, love curvy women. I work with this girl who has the most spectacular curvy body --nice wide hips, gorgeous breasts, and a midriff you just want to dig your nails into-- and yet she's obsessed with the idea of losing weight. So sad! She's perfect just the way she is. In fact, if I didn't have that rule about not hitting on people I work with, she'd be in trouble...

Cocktails at Bedtime. Read it. It's free.

a storm drain is not a garbage can

Just take a look at all that crap. See all that grey stuff built up around the base of the grate? That's not dirt or leaves or anything organic. All that greyness is plastic garbage built up around the storm drain and stained by the runoff from nearby parking lots.

Where does that garbage come from? Everywhere. Any time anyone drops litter on the ground, there's a good chance it'll get carried by rainwater into your local water system. In our case, all this plastic crap gets carried out into lake Ontario. This is bad news for our beaches and aquatic wildlife. I remember a time when we could actually swim in our lake. Now many won't chance it.

My friend Monty wanted me to mention another concern, tied loosely to this one. I need to explain this picture a bit: See that glass tube? Okay, not so much, right? It's near the base of the grate. Well, last week there was another piece of it sitting on top of that storm drain. I got a picture, but my camera erased it (always the camera's fault). Anyhoo, that other piece (not pictured) looked a heck of a lot like part of a halogen or CFL lightbulb.

Enter my friend Monty's concern: Mercury content in compact fluorescent lightbulbs. He wanted me to share with you these safety tips on cleaning up if you should ever be so unfortunate as to break a CFL bulb. Be careful, friends. Safety first!

Before cleanup: Vent the room

1. Open a window and leave the room for 15 minutes or more.

2. Shut off the central forced-air heating/air conditioning system, if you have one.

Cleanup steps for hard surfaces

3. Carefully scoop up glass fragments and powder using stiff paper or cardboard and place them in a glass jar with metal lid (such as a canning jar) or in a sealed plastic bag.

4. Use sticky tape, such as duct tape, to pick up any remaining small glass fragments and powder.

5. Wipe the area clean with damp paper towels or disposable wet wipes and place them in the glass jar or plastic bag.

6. Do not use a vacuum or broom to clean up the broken bulb on hard surfaces.

Cleanup steps for carpeting or rug

3. Carefully pick up glass fragments and place them in a glass jar with metal lid (such as a canning jar) or in a sealed plastic bag.

4. Use sticky tape, such as duct tape, to pick up any remaining small glass fragments and powder.

5. If vacuuming is needed after all visible materials are removed, vacuum the area where the bulb was broken.

6. Remove the vacuum bag (or empty and wipe the canister), and put the bag or vacuum debris in a sealed plastic bag.

Disposal of cleanup materials

7. Immediately place all cleanup materials outside the building in a trash container or outdoor protected area for the next normal trash.

8. Wash your hands after disposing of the jars or plastic bags containing cleanup materials.

9. Check with your local or state government about disposal requirements in your specific area. Some states prohibit such trash disposal and require that broken and unbroken lamps be taken to a recycling center.

Future cleaning of carpeting or rug

10. For at least the next few times you vacuum, shut off the central forced-air heating/air conditioning system and open a window prior to vacuuming.

11. Keep the central heating/air conditioning system shut off and the window open for at least 15 minutes after vacuuming is completed.

Source: U.S. Environmental Protection

Canadian Bald

Pardon me while I swoon for Peter Mansbridge.

Now, I’m not big on news programming. For all its sensationalism and thinly-veiled biases, I never watch the local news. I’ll tune into the National News on the Aboriginal People’s Television Network once in a while and I try to catch In the Life, the gay and lesbian newsmagazine aired on PBS. I watch a few political debate programs on TVO as well. As for “THE NEWS,” though? Angers up the blood. I’ve learned I can do without it.

That said, if anyone could pull me in to news programming, it would be none other than the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation’s own Peter Mansbridge. When I search the airwaves for sexy Canadians, he stands bald head and broad shoulders over all others.

But there’s more to Peter Mansbridge’s charm than just a bald head. There’s a brain in that head! He has that very Canadian ability to ask incisive questions without attacking the interviewee, something American political journalists can’t seem to manage.

There’s that sneaky dimpled smirk, like nobody can pull the wool over his (are they blue?) eyes. There’s the crossed leg with shoe nodding playfully along. And have you ever seen Mansbridge in a black turtleneck? Hot stuff!

What a tease that his political program is called One on One with Peter Mansbridge! I’ll tell you what I would do if I got my hands on some one on one time with Mansbridge: I’d put those lovely pink lips of his to work, and we wouldn’t be talking politics.

For those who like the oldie-baldies, Peter Mansbridge goes in the hottie file.

BULLRUSHES ARE NOT A GARBAGE CAN

Baby Moses wouldn't have survived bullrushes like these.
Not much wildlife is going to survive here, either.
Disgraceful...

Yes, Annette, there is a Donut Warehouse!

Move over, Timmy. Annette is in town, and she’s got Raspberry Jelly-Filled donuts. In fact, she’s got more variety than you can shake your hockey stick at!

Who is Annette? Umm… I’m not sure, but she makes some damn fine donuts right here in Toronto. According to her website, http://annettesdonuts.com, Annette’s Donuts is a family-owned company that’s been in business for over 25 years.

The reason I’m writing about her is that, aside from making truly delicious donuts, she’s just opened a cash and carry at right at the factory location:

1965 Lawrence Avenue West, Toronto Ontario
(between Jane St and Weston Rd)

Now, friends, I LOVE factory outlets. I’m talking true factory outlets, where you buy goods straight off the line. That’s what you’re in for when you visit Annette’s. The donuts are the freshest of the fresh, I tell you.

The entrance to Annette’s cash and carry is a little clinical, I must say, but “clean” and “food” go well together, don’t you think? When you enter the little lobby, there’s a small wall of windows. On the other side of those windows sit every variety of donut you could dream of… unless you have some seriously bizarre donut dreams. Prices are on the windows, and these prices seem to include tax.

Alright, now you know what you want. If you’re me today, you want a package of 6 Bavarian Creams and a package of Annette’s signature Glazed Ring donuts. You tell the order-taking triage nurse what you would like (seriously, this place reminds me of a hospital) and you get your delicious donuts.

Let’s talk money. Are you getting a great deal at the cash and carry? Yes and no. I paid $2 for my 6 Bavarians. That seems like a great deal. I paid $1 for my 6 glazed rings. That’s a steal. However, you can get buy that same pack of 6 Annette’s glazed donuts for the same price at many No Frills supermarkets in the western part of the city.

So, is Annette’s worth the trip? GOD, YES!!! Why? Prices are low, selection was awesome even at 15 minutes before closing time, and these donuts are the freshest you can get. If you live in or around Toronto, hop on over to Annette’s. You won’t regret it. Unless you eat a 6-pack of Chocolate Crullers all in one sitting. You might regret that.

A SNOWBANK IS NOT A GARBAGE CAN

Ah, April in Canada. Looking out my window, I still see some snow on the ground. Mostly mud, but some snow as well.

As I walked down my street (or indeed any street) throughout the winter, I was astounded to see that every snowbank had some garbage thrown into it. This picture was taken a few weeks ago. Now that most of the snow along the roads has melted, the curbside is full of mushy trash.

See all of those snowbanks? They were full of garbage. Those beautiful, natural, white (okay, grey) mounds of virgin snow were full of garbage!!! Every snowfall, the roads got plowed and all those lazy littering bastards out there threw their coffee cups on the snowbanks. Then it snowed again and that garbage got buried under more snow. And on and on and on all winter.

Seriously, how hard is it to put garbage in a garbage can? It doesn't belong in the snow.

for the girls

For the Girls is THE porn site for women who like men, and as of today I’m part of their club!

One of my erotic stories was just added to For the Girls’ Wicked Ways section, and here’s the kicker: this story is cross-my-heart-hope-to-die-stick-a-needle-in-my-eye 100% true. It actually happened. I called this story “Wedding Party” because, well, it involved a wedding party. More to the point, it involved my big naked butt nearly being immortalized in somebody’s wedding photo, and all because I was (*ahem*) otherwise engaged… You’ll have to read the story for details. In three words, it’s hot, hilarious and (a little) humiliating ;-)

For the Girls is a membership-based adult site and ezine, so if you’re visiting for the first time expect to pay a fee. As well as explicit pics and movie content, they also offer a full women’s magazine focusing on sex, women’s health and humour.

Now, I’ve been a porn devotee for a good ten years. A guy friend recommended greenguy’s link-o-rama to me many, many moons ago, and I’ve been pretty faithful to his site ever since. (Thank you, greenguy, for fulfilling my porny needs) How delighted was I when he added a section of “porn for women” links? I hear women make up 1 in 3 online porn-watchers these days. And here I thought I was the only one!

Honestly, most content out there is geared toward the male gaze, which can easily fall into the trap of being degrading. My friend Monty is always asking me, “How can you watch that stuff!?!” I take his point. It turns my stomach to see a woman’s face dripping with cum. To each her own, but that just doesn’t do it for me.

Now you know why I’m so delighted For the Girls exists. We women have been searching for sites like this, full of porn, pics, fiction and erotic audio content designed for us. I’m thrilled to be an erotica contributor to this site.