Saturday, August 1, 2015

#MySexySaturday A Man Needs A Maid: A Paranormal Billionaire Romance

Wanna read a novel? A romance novel? A hot one, starring a billionaire widower, his maid, and a vengeful ghost that's already killed, like, three people?

Then the book you're looking for is A Man Needs A Maid.

When Aviva becomes maid to a tech-boom billionaire, she can’t help falling in love. Wallace is a handsome widower who spoils her without ever losing his down-to-earth attitude. But if Wallace is a dream, his house is the worst kind of nightmare--it’s haunted by a violent ghost! Can Aviva cope or will the mysterious spirit drive man and maid apart forever?

A Paranormal Billionaire Romance.

Since it's My Sexy Saturday, I've got an excerpt to share with you:

His pull was magnetic. She couldn’t have torn herself away, even if she’d wanted to.

But she didn’t want to. Oh, no.

Curiosity and amusement played across his face, like he couldn’t imagine what she saw in him, but he was oh so glad she saw it.

When her lips met his, her heart throbbed so madly she could feel it in her throat. His facial hair tickled the tender skin around her mouth. At any other time she might have laughed, but not now. The moment was too intense for that, especially when he planted his palm hard against her back and drew her in to a smouldering kiss. His facial hair didn’t tickle her, then.

The heat of his embrace made her weak. Thank goodness she was already sitting, because her knees would have given out by now. He’d have to hold her upright, drawing her close to his chest as he cupped the back of her head and kissed her.

Time slowed to molasses—dark, sweet, and rich. She breathed through his body as his tongue melted against hers. Her hand found his cheek and she petted his beard. It didn’t feel so rough or prickly against her palm. Actually, she liked it. There was something about a neat beard that made a man seem sure of himself. The power in his kiss gave her a similar impression. She’d never been kissed like this. Never in her life.

She couldn’t come up for air.

A Man Needs A Maid came out yesterday from eXcessica Publishing. You can buy it in print or as an ebook, and I hope you will!

Amazon UK:

All Romance Ebooks:


Thursday, July 30, 2015

These Pretzels Are Making Me Cranky

Did I say pretzels? I meant this weather. This hot, humid, Extreme Heat Alert weather is making me cranky as hell.

I'll give you an example: I visited my mom last weekend. Pretty normal visit. Nothing out of the ordinary. No major controversies or anything. I love my family and we have a good time together, but here's one thing I'll tell you about my mother: she never shuts up.

I always forget that about her when we're not together. She's such a nice, tame, soft-spoken person that you wouldn't expect her to talk your ear off. But MY GOD. She doesn't have an off button.

And it's not like she's got anything interesting to say. I know how mean that sounds, but that's why I'm prefacing this post by saying I'm cranky. Cranky makes me notice it more, I guess.

Anyone will tell you my mom is a terrible storyteller. If she repeats someone else's hilarious anecdote, it comes out totally tedious. But what's worse is that she's always telling stories about people I don't know (ie. the complete work history of Brenda's granddaughter. "Who is Brenda?"  "Oh, I met her on the train."), or nitty-gritty work stories I don't understand (on and on about some glitch with a piece of software I've never heard of), or she'll repeat something, say, my aunt told her when I was standing right there.

That last one has bugged me since I was a child. I remember my mom retelling entire series of events in the car on the way home from a family gathering, and all my siblings going, "We know what happened! We were there!"

Or she'll get out her Blackberry and just read emails at me. Entire emails. From people I don't know. Or business correspondences. From people I don't know. One after another after another.

Shut up! Just stop! I don't care about any of this!

And I'll give her subtle hints I'm not listening. (You know when something's so boring your brain goes numb? That.) Like I'll read the paper. Or leave the room. Reading the paper doesn't work--she just keeps talking. Leaving the room doesn't work--she just follows me.

This is nothing new. Happens all the time. But this weekend I picked up my shit and said, "Nice visit. See ya later," and I just left.

It was pretty rude, but I'm not sure she even noticed. She was probably still talking when I was gone.  She's the kind of person where you can honest-to-god put down the phone for three minutes and when you come back she's still talking to you.

I shouldn't complain. I have a great mom. She's super-supportive and non-judgmental and she loves my girlfriend and that's great. But, my god, I almost gave her one of these this weekend:

Like I said: the weather's making me cranky. And if it's making you cranky too, you're probably thinking, "Stop complaining and appreciate your mother!"

Good advice. I will definitely do that... from a distance. Thanks for putting things in perspective.

Stay cool, my friend.

Saturday, July 25, 2015

#MySexySaturday Wet Weekend in Our Sexy Place

A weird thing happens when I sit down to write dirty, dirty fetish erotica: it becomes really... REAL. Emotional honesty always seems to break through the kink.

That's one reason I want everybody to snap up a copy of my new release, Wet Weekend. We're talking about a set of six sequential stories about a lesbian couple discovering their shared love of all things pee.

WAIT! Come back!

I know not everybody's over the moon about golden showers, but this collection is so... so... what's the word? Different?

I don't think I can sum up how I feel about Wet Weekend in just one word. I lovingly refer to it as my lesbian pee book, but it's about so much more than what the women DO to each other. It's about who they ARE to each other. That's what makes it special.

This week's My Sexy Saturday topic is Our Sexy Place, so it's apt that I'm featuring a book which takes place during a weekend getaway. The following 7 sentences are pulled from Talia and Cassie's drive up to the resort hotel. Cassie has to pee, and she has to pee BAD:

Nobody around, thank goodness.

I swung open the passenger door as soon as Talia came to a halt. Leaving my panties on the car mat, I raced through the tickly long grasses in my sandals. My summer skirt fluttered against my thighs as I ran to the trees.

Just like Talia said, there were strong, tall shade trees surrounding the farmland, blocking it from the highway. I had to whizz so badly I wouldn’t have cared if I was forced to pee in the middle of a field.

Pulling my skirt up and hugging it to my chest, I parted my feet and squatted. I got down so low the grasses brushed my pussy and my thighs.

Then a weird thing happened: I couldn’t go. I’d been holding it so hard, telling myself not to, that when I finally gave myself permission, nothing came out.

“Better?” Talia asked.

“Oh God!” I jumped when I looked up and saw her. She was standing not three meters away, keys in hand, watching me.

Since Wet Weekend is so special to me, I want everybody to buy a copy. It's on sale today for $0.99 so everyone with 99 pennies to spare can afford it. I strongly encourage you to pick up a copy. It's available from lots of retailers.

Like these ones:


Friday, July 24, 2015

A Strong Month for Transgender Fiction

June was an incredible month for print sales. You people must love paperbacks as much as I do! (I never could get the hang of ebooks--feels too much like work.)

I'm most excited to tell you that the vast majority of Giselle Renarde book sales in June were LGBTQ titles, particularly transgender fiction.

1. The All-Star June seller was my most recent anthology of trans love stories, which is especially cool and surprising because sales of the print edition have now surpassed sales of the ebook!

2. In second place, we've got Flash in the Pen--a book of super-short erotic stories. Y'all obviously want your flash fiction on paper!

3. In third spot, we've got my pet paperback: Friday Night Lipstick. It's a friends-become-lovers novella about older trans women falling in sappy, delicious lurve. I cry EVERY time I read the last chapter.

Honourable mentions include:

Have Yourself A Sexy Lesbian Christmas (in July, I guess?),
Don't You Savage Me (with all proceeds going to charities that serve Indigenous women),
Bisexual Beauties (the new kid on the block),
 Moving May (this stepbrother romance has sold very well in print--thank you!)

I could go on. It was quite a month!
Okay, one more: Monsters and Shifters and Men, Oh My!  

Thank you for buying my books!

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Wow, is that a Stayfree ad from 1973?

Nope! It's the cover of my upcoming lesbian pee book, Wet Weekend!

As I wrote this filthy little number, I tweeted about it a lot. All you wicked people got so excited I moved it up in my publication schedule. Hope you're still anxious, because it hits the market Friday.

Actually, you can preorder now for only $0.99, and I hope you will! It's weirdly good. It's weirdly romantic, too, for a book about women peeing on or around each other.

When Talia and Cassie set off on a romantic resort getaway, they never imagined they’d discover a wet and wild new fetish! Cassie’s a good sub who’d do anything for her girl, but what happens when Talia springs a scary surprise on her? If Talia requires total control over her bodily functions, will Cassie be ready to submit?
An unforgettable collection of lesbian fetish erotica.

If you've never read golden shower erotica (and if you're thinking "Why would I even want to?") I ho-heartily encourage you to give this one a go. Especially now, while you can get it for under a buck! Do it! Do eeeeet!

Amazon UK:


Who wears short shorts?

Monday, July 20, 2015

NOT your MOTHER'S Grapefruit

I guess it's trendy, these days, to marginalize our mothers' experiences and citrus fruits and what have you.
I don't know what this means!
I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment, but I couldn't throw this out without sharing. It's the label thingy from a bag of grapefruit--NOT your MOTHER'S Grapefruit, as it clearly specifies.  My mother isn't a housewife from the 50s (or a cartoon character, unfortunately--would have been fun, growing up with a cartoon mom) so not sure I would have made that assumption.

Oh, and in case you can't see the little letters above "Florida Ruby," they spell out: The Health and Beauty of the Modern Grapefruit.

et puis en fran├žais

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Why You Should Read Tangled Roots

When I sat down to create the paperback version of one of my very first ebooks, I was shaking in my boots. I was 100% convinced it would be terrible, the proofread would turn into a massive undertaking, and I’d be at it for a month.

How wrong I was! I breezed through the proofread in a day, taking time out to walk to the supermarket AND read in the park because hydro workers were jackhammering concrete poles outside my building and try working through that, will ya?

I enjoyed Tangled Roots. It felt distant to me, because I wrote it so many years ago, but still familiar because it went through so many rounds of edits in its initial incarnation.

Tangled Roots is a straight romance novella about an Indigenous woman who’s basically racist against her own race. So, yeah, a light and breezy read, there. Simone is not the most likeable character in the world, but that’s kind of why I love her. She was raised by parents who were silent about the past, and her white adoptive grandparents shit all over her cultural heritage. She internalized that hatred and, in doing so, never found a way to love herself.

At the start of the book, Simone has just lost her high-powered business job where she was a high-powered businesswoman. She’s trying to keep it together while her life falls apart, so the first thing she does is kick her live-in toy boy to the curb because kindness is for suckers.

This book is getting more appealing by the second, isn’t it?

But the love story doesn’t begin until Simone retreats to her late parents’ cottage, in hopes of selling it. That’s where she meets Moses, her new Anishinaabe neighbour.

Lurve happens.

Simone is still rough around the edges. She kind of pounces at him because that’s the way she deals with dudes (she wants control in the relationship), but Moses is super-balanced and he can take a step back and go, “Whoa, there. Let’s get to know each other first.” He’s pretty awesome.

And the weird thing is that before, when I called this book a light and breezy read, I wasn’t completely kidding. It’s high up on the romance scale, for my books. And it takes place in the summer, at a cottage. The way I’ve described it makes it sound a lot darker than it is, I think. This book would make a surprisingly good beach read.

You should read Tangled Roots if you’re looking to diversify your romance portfolio. Both romantic leads are Indigenous and heritage impacts their personalities and their experience of life. I didn’t expect to love it (I know how weird that sounds, considering I wrote it!) because I’m not big on straight romance (or any romance, unless it’s massively fucked up), but Tangled Roots works for me.

If you’re going to buy Tangled Roots, I highly recommend the paperback edition, as it is the most up to date. If you’re looking for the ebook,the first edition was published by eXcessica.

Tangled Roots in print
ISBN-13: 978-1515116349
ISBN-10: 1515116344

Large Print Edition:
ISBN-13: 978-1515117131
ISBN-10: 1515117138

eXcessica edition: