Monday, January 8, 2018

January #AudioErotica at http://Patreon.com/AudioErotica

We've got another great month of audio erotica this January. If you're not yet a patron, please consider supporting me. I would really appreciate it.  There's even a new $1 TIER for those who'd like to listen to a new audio erotica story the first Friday of every month.

If you want weekly audio erotica, that's still available for $4+/month, and I invite everyone to sign up today!

Coming up in January:

January 5, 2018: THE GIRL ON YOUR SKIN (very relatable lesbian jealousy)
January 12, 2018: THE WAR AT HOME (a wife gets stuck in some bedsheets)
January 19, 2018: SAUCY CHEEKS (lesbian spanking in a restaurant bathroom)
January 26, 2018: COCK CAGE CONFESSION (I think this is the one where I did a terrible Southern accent oh god...)


Audio Erotica is for patrons only, so join up today! You'll get to listen to a nice cushy backlist of my stories, too!

http://Patreon.com/AudioErotica

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Happy New Year! Here's the Music that Saved Me in 2017

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the comedy that helped me cope with depression this year. But if comedy helps me cope in times of numbness, music has saved me in times of torment.  I don't know how I would survive without music.  It speaks to my soul like no other art form.

I hear readers saying that a book has saved their life. That's never been my experience with books, although it is fulfilling to hear, as a writer. But music? Music has saved me again and again and again and again.

So I thought I'd share with you my favourite three albums that came out in 2017.

https://www.amazon.com/Fools-Paradise-Cold-Specks/dp/B073W6LYJ3?tag=dondes-20
1. Fool's Paradise, Cold Specks

I'm not generally the kind of person who marks an album's release date on the calendar, but that's exactly what I did when I heard Cold Specks was coming out with new music in 2017.  I was particularly excited when I heard she'd be showcasing her Somali-Canadian heritage. The day this album dropped, I signed into my Hoopla account to listen (thank you, Toronto Public Library!), and I wasn't disappointed.

This is music to sit with.  It gets inside you. Ladan Hussein's voice is rich and mournful. Her music is glorious.




https://www.amazon.com/Masseduction-Explicit-St-Vincent/dp/B0754LGHC5?tag=dondes-20
2. Masseduction, St. Vincent

Oh, I'm a sucker for St. Vincent. Annie Clark is one of those artists you love for the music, and then you see her in concert and love her for the experience.  Some of her songs are great when you hear them digitally, but then you witness an extended version live and that same song just blows you away.

Okay, so I haven't heard any of the songs from her new album LIVE, but fingers crossed I'll get that chance.

I was actually sitting in a Toronto Public Library location the first time I listened to Masseduction (which, in my head, I still call Mass Education), and I remember my initial thought was: I'm not too sure about this. heh. But I listened to it again. And again. And again. And then I couldn't stop. It had become a compulsion.




https://www.amazon.com/Belong-San-Fermin/dp/B01MZH7WJL?tag=dondes-20
3. Belong, San Fermin

I'll be totally honest with you: when I first came up with the idea of writing a blog post about my three favourite albums of 2017, I only had two in mind and this wasn't one of them. But it belongs here (haha puns) because it's phenomenal. It's just that, when I had the idea to write this post, I hadn't listened to it yet.

Before The Signal went off the air, they played the opening track Open (I'm not even trying with the puns anymore, they're just happening), and it blew me away. I kept thinking, "Gee, I really should look into this San Fermin organization," but until I needed a third for this list... I never did.

Long story short, I spent an entire evening listening to Open in my kitchen, in a trance, holding my headphones and asking, "What does it mean? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN???" while simultaneously being very glad I live alone. Oh, hey, and try listening to the track called No Promises without flashing back to Anthems for a Seventeen Year-Old Girl!


If music means as much to you as it does to me, I hope you found the sound that speaks to you this year. Here's hoping we'll all find more music to love in the year ahead.
Hugs,
Giselle


Saturday, December 23, 2017

Free, Instant Shipping on Last-Minute Christmas Gifts

I just had a genius idea for everyone who leaves gift-buying to the last second. Like maybe it's 7AM Christmas morning and you suddenly realize DAMN IT JANET, I didn't get a gift for my sister/daughter/husband/grandma/whoever! What do I do?

You buy an ebook as a gift!

Isn't that a great idea? Yeah, I know it is!  It's such a great idea I can't even believe I came up with it!

How do you give an ebook as a gift?

Certain retailers, like Amazon and Smashwords, give you this option.  Just go to an ebook's page, look where the price is, and then scroll down until you see the button that says "Give as a Gift." Voila! It'll be delivered like magic. Instant gift!

What ebook should you give?  Well, that's entirely up to you, my friend.  Depends on what the recipient likes to read.

Here are a few ideas based on cursory perusal of Amazon. I haven't read any of these books, but now I definitely want to!
https://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Story-Inspired-Hilarious-Classic-ebook/dp/B0047747KG?tag=dondes-20

https://www.amazon.com/Not-My-Fathers-Son-Memoir-ebook/dp/B00HU5F3UU/ref=dondes-20

https://www.amazon.com/Surpassing-Certainty-What-Twenties-Taught-ebook/dp/B01MPZI8U8?tag=dondes-20

And, hey, if you want to give someone one of my books, you should definitely do that!  Here's the newest, most expensive book I've published, which can be given as a gift via Smashwords. It's 6 novels in one book!

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/766743?ref=GiselleRenardeErotica


So there you go! All your problems are solved. You're welcome.

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

One Giant Book of Erotic Fiction

https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=PGxCDwAAQBAJ
Here's a little something for your bookshelf (and by little, I mean gigantic): Erotic Fiction, Selected Novels by Giselle Renarde. Six novels, to be exact.

This book is so huge I had to reformat the paperback version because my first crack at it was too big for CreateSpace. Apparently they have a limit of something like 820 pages? I've never put together a book anywhere near that long. Anyway, I had to go back and format it with a larger trim size to reduce the number of pages, since I didn't want to decrease the typeface. Luckily, I love formatting print books.

Long story short, the paperback's about 780 pages. Enjoy!

I got the idea to create this book because I've got a collection on my shelf called Selected Works of Virginia Woolf. It's quite large. I don't think I've ever opened it, but sometimes that's not the point of a big book. Sometimes you just like having it there on the shelf.

Or you could read it. The choice is yours.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1981563636?tag=dondes-20

Escape into a realm of pure sensuality with SIX full-length erotic novels from award-winning queer Canadian author Giselle Renarde. Included in this massive collection are the books Anonymous, The Other Side of Ruth, In Shadow, Seven Kisses, The Red Satin Collection, and A Man Needs A Maid.

Six piquant tales of longing, lust, and fearless love await you. From polyamorous partners to lesbian affairs, from psychological drama to dark desires, from love triangles to blissful romance, you’ll find it all in Erotic Fiction!


If you are so inclined, buy my giant book of books from Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1981563636?tag=dondes-20

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/766743?ref=GiselleRenardeErotica
You can purchase my gigantic book as an ebook too, if that's your thing. I think the ebook version is like 1,700 pages so happy reading.

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/766743?ref=GiselleRenardeErotica
Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=PGxCDwAAQBAJ
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/erotic-fiction-selected-novels-by-giselle-renarde
Excitica: https://www.excitica.com/index.php/erotic-fiction-selected-novels-by-giselle-renarde.html#


I'm not the best planner these days, so I uploaded the ebook at exactly the wrong time. Distributors are really slow around the holidays, so this ebook will be available from more retailers in the future.


Monday, December 18, 2017

A Threesome for Christmas #MFM #Menage #Erotica #Romance

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0788VB3G7?tag=dondes-20
Just in time for Christmas, I got my rights back on a story that was previously published as Three in a Tub. This threesome story was originally published by Evernight Publishing, in an anthology of kinky Christmas tales called Vanilla-Free Christmas.

Well, the anthology no longer graces the shelves of your favourite ebook retailer, but now you can grab my MFM story on its own. I re-titled it A Threesome for Christmas because there are some titles that work okay in collections but when you slap them on a book cover they become things that make you go hmmm...

Oh! I should mention I wrote this story in... I want to say 2011 or 2012? Wrote it because I saw the call for submissions and wanted in on the action. So when I read it over just a couple of weeks ago, I went WOW, THIS IS SUCH A SWEET STORY!

I don't expect sweet stories to come out of me, but when I'm writing for a romance publisher I guess I'm capable of anything. There's even an HEA. Like, what???

It's a perfect morsel for Christmas. It's got feels, it's got happy, it's got two dudes because I know a lot of readers like two dudes.

There's a lot to love here.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0788VB3G7?tag=dondes-20
A Threesome for Christmas
A Holiday Menage by Giselle Renarde

Cathy takes care of everyone else’s needs. This Christmas, who will take care of hers?

The holidays are coming. For Cathy, that means getting the house ready for her elderly mother’s arrival. Things are going to change in the New Year. She’ll be taking care of Mom full-time. It’s the right thing to do, but that doesn’t mean she’s looking forward to it.

Enter Jeremy, the young tenant who lives in her basement, and Vance, the rugged handyman who makes Cathy weak in the knees. If anyone knows how to look after Cathy, it’s these two guys!

Buy it from...
Amazon https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0788VB3G7?tag=dondes-20
Barnes and Noble https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-threesome-for-christmas-giselle-renarde/1127637659?ean=2940158865152
Kobo https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/a-threesome-for-christmas

It'll be available from other vendors too, just distribution takes time over the holidays. Everything slows down. Including me! I'm trying to be on vacation as we speak!

Happy Holidays!
Giselle

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

How I Survived This Horrible Year

2017 has been terrible. Worst depression year I've had in almost 20 years. Anxiety on top of that.

I've got a lot to be grateful for. Aside from tax headaches, the horribleness of this year hasn't been personal. Nobody's died. I haven't been evicted. My girlfriend's still dear to my heart.

But sometimes things can be going right and you still can't cope. Mental illness is funny like that. This world is a hard place to live in.

So how do I cope?

Comedy.

Doesn't work for everybody, but it does work for me.  My girlfriend says that when she's having a bad depression day, comedy is the last thing she wants to consume. It feels too trivial to her.  But I want the trivial.  I don't want to think about all the bad stuff in the world, all the hatred and the fear.  I want to laugh. I just want to laugh.

The top three things that kept me going throughout this horrible, terrible year are:

1. Mystery Science Theater 3000


https://www.amazon.com/Mystery-Science-Theater-3000-1/dp/B00YT9IT2Y?tag=dondes-20
I have my girlfriend to thank for this discovery. MST3K was barely on my radar when she introduced me to it. But as soon as I started watching old episodes, I was hooked.

In case you're not familiar, it's a show from the 90s (recently revived by Netflix) set in the not-too-distant future. A guy and his robot pals make fun of the best of the worst B movies and sci-fi flicks. It's deliriously hilarious.

Bad movies, clever remarks and robot friends--what's not to love?

Mystery Science Theater 3000 is the funniest goddamn thing I've seen... possibly ever.


 

2. Four Finger Discount


https://fourfingerdiscount.podbean.com/
My sister turned me on to this wonderful Simpsons podcast. Being a huge fan of Golden Era Simpsons, I've really enjoyed reliving old episodes with two funny Australian boys.  Most of the people I spend time with are considerably older than I am, so it's great to vampire off their 20-something energy.

In every episode, Dando and Mitch review a different Simpsons episode. It goes in chronological order. New episodes are posted once a week.  They started with Season 1 and they're up to Season 6. That's commitment!

Four Finger Discount is my new favourite thing to listen to while washing dishes.

3. Frasier


https://www.amazon.com/Frasier-Complete-Kelsey-Grammer/dp/B00S89IRH8?tag=dondes-20
I love Frasier so much that when I had a particularly good sales quarter a couple years ago, I bought the entire series on DVD. Every night, I go to bed with Frasier. I put it on and let it lull me into sleep. It helps my brain power down.

I'm not sure how many times I've watched the series in its entirety, but I'm not tired of it yet.

So I want to send my gratitude out into the universe, or at least into the internet. Thank you to everyone helped to create the media that soothes my mentally ill mind. Maybe you didn't know it when you were making robots or recording podcasts in your living room, but you've helped someone this year.

You've really helped me.

Thursday, December 7, 2017

The Very Surprising (some would say SHOCKING) November Bestsellers

We're talking Giselle Renarde paperbacks today, here at Donuts and Desires. And when I think PAPERBACKS, I think: remember everybody speculating a few years ago why ebooks were such hot sellers? Remember the theory that ebooks sold well because women could secretly squirrel erotica away on their e-readers so nobody would know they were reading dirty, dirty smut?

Oh, the fun of it all!

Well, I'd say the November print bestsellers poke a little hole in that theory, because we're talking dirty filthy smut people aren't afraid to be SEEN reading.  Unless they rip the covers off.  But why would you do that when they're sooo good-looking?

Tell us more about these saucy bestsellers, Giselle!

Okay, I will!

First up is a paperback for readers who adore anal erotica:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B06ZXZR2G8?tag=dondes-20

Adultery is a big-time no-no in the romance world, but this is EROTICA, baby: 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1974535347/ref=dondes-20


I've saved the best for last. I can only hope the people who purchase this next gem are reading it on city buses as we speak:

https://www.amazon.com/Lesbians-Lick-Butt-Fetish-Erotica/dp/1543215300?tag=dondes-20


Thanks to all the books that played this month. There can only be so many bestsellers. But there's always room for honourable mentions, so big ups go out to:

Erotic Older Women
Taboo Hotel Sex Stories
Wedding Heat: Skinny Dipping

I couldn't be more proud. Fly, little paperbacks! Fly like the wind!