Turns out when I released my Paranormal Erotica Box Set in 2014, I never created a paperback version to go along with it. Well, that's been remedied. You can now buy the print version from Amazon, and it'll soon be available at other book retailers too.
Paranormal Erotica Vampires, Shifters, and Fairy Tales for Adults by Giselle Renarde
Take an anthology of paranormal erotic romance BDSM stories, add a collection brimming with lesbian vampires and shapeshifters, top it off with a secret solstice sacrifice, and what have you got? The Paranormal Erotica Box Set! From the bisexual vampire hairdressers of Blood Addict to the blood-thirsty lesbians of Girls Gone Carnal, there's a story to suit every taste in this 65,000+ word compilation of 18 sexy stories. Got a taste for threesomes? Gothic horror? Bondage? Gender transformation? Succubi? Fairies and legends? You'll find it all, and so much more, in this great new collection!
Here's a tidbit from the pile of things I forgot about:
My latest "How to Fail" books are available, and they're free. So you should grab them both. Now!
This series is technically called "Everything I've Done Wrong" and it consists of short ebooks full of essays originally written for the Oh Get a Grip! erotica writers' blog. Each book has a different theme.
How to Fail Miserably at Dirty Words is about writing erotica, taboo smut, and other sex stuff.
How to Fail Miserably at Family features a lot of essays about my family of origin, being an adult child of an alcoholic, intergenerational stuff, cycle of violence... it's a little heavy, but it's not exclusively heavy.
If you're the least bit interested in my experiences or you just like reading about other people's crappy childhoods (hey, you're not the only one), this is the Fail book for you.
I couldn’t help but stare. There was just so much to look at. Innes caught me, of course, and said, “She’s gorgeous, don’t you think?” Following my gaze to the huge cluster of Marilyn Monroe prints hanging over her TV, she went on to say, “If you ask me, she’s the most desirable woman there ever was.” “Can’t argue with that,” I replied, even though I surely could have. I could have said, “I know one woman who’s ten times more beautiful than Marilyn Monroe.” Innes would have looked at me funny and hesitated before asking, “Who?” Then I’d move in so close she would flinch. I’d wrap my arms around her curvy middle and say, “You, Innes. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on.” I would kiss her, then—our first kiss, at long last! Whether she'd kiss me back or pull away I really wasn't sure. That's what had held me back all these years. To me, a kiss was a point of no return. From there, either a relationship began or a friendship ended. If I were to kiss Innes, everything would change. For better or for worse...
*****
A couple weeks ago I uploaded my lesbian erotic romance short "Marilyn in the Middle" to Amazon, told you about it, and assured you it would soon be available from other retailers. Welp, I forgot all about it after that. No, that's not true. I could have sworn I'd uploaded it. But no. I hadn't.
By way of apology for the oversight, I've made "Marilyn in the Middle" FREE at those forgotten retailers. Not forever. One week only, so download your free copy today from...
I have a bad habit of being overly transparent about everything.
And I have no plans to break that habit today.
Lately, I've been feeling really isolated. I spend less time online than I used to because I can't handle the news. It's overwhelming and it gives me anxiety and nightmares.
But the flip side of not being online as much is that I haven't been maintaining those human connections you get from chatting with your friends on Twitter and all that. I've always been extremely wary of strangers, so I shy away from interacting with anyone I don't know because I get really scared and intimidated.
Sometimes I spend hours on the phone with my sister. I'm amazed she has time to chat with me. She's got such a busy life. But, knowing I'm a big Simpsons fan, she recommended to me a podcast called Four Finger Discount. I came for The Simpsons, but I stayed for the friendly, funny Australian voices in my ears. When I listen in on their conversations, I feel less alone.
Last November (yes, almost a year ago), I bought a new microphone with the intention of recording audio versions of my erotica. Distribution was very tricky for Canadians at that point, so I had this idea of creating little podcasts of erotic fiction. I know I'm not the only person on the planet who feels isolated. This is my way of reaching out. It's not interactive, but that doesn't matter. Having someone's voice in your ear is an act of intimacy. It doesn't matter how much space there is between us.
It's taken me this long to get my shit together because what else is new? It always takes me this long to get my shit together. But today I am launching my weekly Audio Erotica broadcast via Patreon. Every Friday I'll post one of the many erotic shorts I've written over the years. The ones I've recorded so far range from 8 to 35 minutes.
For $5 per month you also get access to a static gallery of "vintage" Giselle Renarde audio. "Vintage" means it's old. The microphone I used was a piece of crap and the production values are awwwwwful. But when I'm a fan of something, I always want inside access to early stuff. So that's what I'm giving you here.
You can elect to pledge a monthly amount in excess of $5, and I would very much appreciate it (trust me, there's a need over here), but those levels don't include any further extras. It's just a way for you to show your appreciation if you've got a little more money to spare.
I'm really excited about this audio endeavour, but without you I'm just a voice in the void. Lend me your ears, will you? Give my words somewhere pleasant to land.
My rights recently came back to me on a lesbian erotic romance short that originally appeared in an Evernight anthology called Lover Unexpected: Sappho Edition.
It's called Marilyn in the Middle and if you're wondering if the Marilyn being referred to in the title is in fact Marilyn Monroe, why yes. Yes she is.
For this friends-become-lovers story, I took inspiration from a friend I had in high school. She knew she was a lesbian, but she fought her impulses tooth and nail. She was also mildly obsessed with Marilyn Monroe.
I stole the Marilyn Monroe obsession for this story, but my character Innes isn't fighting her sexuality. If she's fighting against anything, it's love. Her best friend is in love with her and she chooses to kind of... not notice. Because if you notice, you have to act, and if you act it could all go wrong. Right?
Best friends make the best girlfriends… Jasmine’s in love with her best friend Innes, but Innes is obsessed with Marilyn Monroe! Innes has even decided to dye her hair platinum blonde so she’ll look more like the object of her affection. When Innes asks Jasmine to do the honours, of course she agrees. She’s tired of playing second fiddle to a movie star, but maybe the intimacy of the act will give her the courage to tell her best friend how she really feels. If this goes badly, Jasmine will lose not only the woman she loves, but her closest friend. But if Innes feels the same way, it could spell Happily Ever After for two best friends. A steamy lesbian romance short from award-winning author Giselle Renarde.
The old covers for my "How to Fail Miserably" series weren't gorgeous. I wanted to imitate the look of business How To books from the 90s... but why imitate looks from the 90s when I can imitate the style of today?
Now even more people will fall into the trap of thinking these are ACTUAL How To books that might possibly help business people in their business endeavours. These books ain't gonna help nobody. That's why they're called "How to Fail Miserably..."
But they'll distract you from life for a while, and possibly put a smile on your face. And the first two are still free, so you've got nothing to lose.
Last week I told you about a new series I'm releasing every two weeks. If you missed the first installment, it was called How to Fail Miserably at Writing. I know how to fail at EVERYTHING, and I've written extensively about my failures at the Oh Get A Grip! authors' blog.
These covers just aren't doing it for me. I'm going to try to set some time aside this weekend to create some better-looking ones. But the contents won't change, so grab your copy now!
Giselle’s done everything wrong so you don’t have to!
Giselle Renarde is an award-winning author who’s been failing at everything since 2006. Her erotica and queer fiction have appeared in nearly 200 short story anthologies and published by two of the Big Five publishing house, but don’t let that fool you. Giselle is a writer who knows how to fail—consistently and thoroughly!
In this collection of short musings from the erotic writers’ blog Oh Get a Grip, Giselle treats readers to a veritable smorgasbord of anecdotes about moving forward in the industry one fail at a time. From writing books no one wants to read to resisting tried-and-true marketing methods, Giselle has done everything wrong.
Don't let the publishing industry get you down. Let’s all join hands and fail together!
Why, you might ask, is Giselle giving away so much for free these days?
There's a very simple answer to that question: I'm now massively rich and I don't need your money. (HA!) That was a joke. I still need your money! I need it now more than ever! GOD, do I need your money!
But the fact remains that I've been giving a lot away. And there is a reason for it. The reason is that... the world sucks. It sucks a lot. It sucks in big and scary ways.
Sometimes, when the world sucks, you have strength to stand up and fight.
And sometimes you don't.
When it all gets to be too much, you might retreat into something that feels comfortable to you. For me, that's comedy. One day I'll tell you how Mystery Science Theater 3000 got me through one of my deepest depressive periods. If you've read my depression handbook (also free), you know one of my favourite feelings is laughing uncontrollably when I'm massively depressed.
But comedy doesn't work for everyone. I was talking to my girlfriend about this the other day. She said that when she's depressed, comedy makes her angry because it seems so trite. We're all different. Some people would rather escape into sex, and that's one of the big reasons I posted my erotic novel CHERRY at Wattpad last month. So you could read it for free if you needed that escape.
The next big thing is this series of ebooks I've assembled out of many years of blog posts at Oh Get a Grip. I believe there will be 8 in total, all on different topics. The first one is called How to Fail Miserably at Writing. They're all going to be "How to Fail Miserably" at something, not so much because they're giving you pointers on failing, but because I fail a lot and it was just a funny, self-deprecating title.
Because these ebooks are comprised of blog posts you can read for free at Oh Get A Grip (if you're willing to wade through 4 or 5 years' worth of posts to find them), I'm bringing each book out at zero dollars.
These collections will hit the skids market every two weeks, and they'll be free for the first two weeks of their existence. I actually uploaded the first one last week but a combination of laziness and perpetual failure has prevented me from blogging about it until now.
I could tell you more about what's inside, but I'm just going to post the book blurb because that pretty much covers it. Be sure to grab a copy while it's free!
How to Fail Miserably at Writing
Everything I’ve Done Wrong
by Giselle Renarde
Giselle’s done everything wrong so you don’t have to!
Giselle Renarde is an award-winning author who’s been failing at everything since 2006. Her erotica and queer fiction have appeared in nearly 200 short story anthologies and published by two of the Big Five publishing house, but don’t let that fool you. Giselle is a writer who knows how to fail—consistently and thoroughly!
In this collection of short musings from the erotic writers’ blog Oh Get a Grip, Giselle treats readers to a veritable smorgasbord of anecdotes about moving forward in the industry one fail at a time.
Have you ever had an editor tell you your entire manuscript needs to be rewritten? Three times? Giselle has. She’s experienced rejection letters, bad reviews, banned books, crappy sales, and painful missteps. If you’ve ever written a book that earned you neither money, fame nor respect, come sit by Giselle. If you have no idea what you’re doing in this business, neither does she!
Let’s all join hands and fail together!
Get your copy today from such ebookstores as:
Giselle’s Best Adultery Erotica
10 Tales of Forbidden Love
Love is complicated.
Sometimes the most passionate love affairs take place with partners who are strictly forbidden. Infidelity can be driven by mutual attraction, money, desire, want of attention or even sheer hatred. In this collection, read Giselle Renarde’s top ten favourite tales of adultery, hand-picked by the author. Whether the sex is angry or loving, spontaneous or carefully planned, the characters all have one thing in common: they’re sleeping with someone they shouldn’t—and it’s hot as hell!
If You Know Where To Look
I Did You Wrong
The Falls
Suffer
The Therapist and the Whore
Show No Mercy
Artists’ Wives
The Other Other Woman
Burgundy Ropes and Voltaire
Good Neighbours
That last story, Good Neighbours, has recently been published as Hotwife Prudence and the Neighborhood Gangbang. Exact same story, just with a better more keywordy title for the individual ebook.
I've been writing adultery erotica for more than a decade, and I wanted to give you my best for this collection. There's a pretty broad range of stories, here. We've got characters who are straight, bi, lesbian, trans, gender-questioning. We've got group sex, a threesome, discipline and punishment, rope bondage, sex for money, stranger sex, guilty feelings, and cynical optimism.
Some readers really hate cheating and infidelity in their fiction. I'm not one of them. Quite the opposite, in fact. If you've been following me for a while, you know I was mistress to a married man for ten years of my life. At the start of my erotica career, I used writing to process a lot of those really complicated feelings that go along with being a party to an affair.
I'm pleased to be able to off you this collection of my ten favourite erotic stories involving infidelity. I hope you'll agree that this is, without a doubt, Giselle's Best Adultery Erotica.
What did she do to deserve this? She must have horseshoes up her ass, because how many girls had a boyfriend like Brad? A guy who’d learned not only to swallow his jealousy and support her goals, but to embrace the fact that she was attracted to another man. With these two at her sides, what could go wrong?
You'll never guess where Cherry ends up, but I'll tell you this much: she ends up there with Brad and Phil.
CHERRY's final chapter has arrived! Are you sad? I'm a little sad. I kind of don't want it to end. I'd forgotten how much I love my little Cherry.
And if you're looking for more daddy fetish fiction to devour, I highly recommend the taboo fiction of Lexi Wood. She's the sock puppet currently locked inside my night table drawer--just a convenient place to keep her, really. Check out her site: http://dancefordaddy.blogspot.com/
