Life is hard and then you write a book called Tragic Coolness

How do you convince readers to buy a book based on an opera?

Search me.

A couple weeks ago I wrote an extensive blog post about my favourite opera, Eugene Onegin. That's because I've written a modern adaptation of that Tchaikovsky opera, which is based on the verse novel by Alexander Pushkin.

You are more than welcome to read what makes me so enthusiastic about this story right here: https://ohgetagrip.blogspot.com/2018/09/closing-door-on-superfluous-man-eugene.html

What's happened since I wrote that article?

My book, TRAGIC COOLNESS, has been published and I haven't done a damn thing to market it.

Why?

Because my grandmother--my favourite person in the world--is dying. I spend most days by her bedside. I don't think she knows I'm there, but I'm not sure and it doesn't really matter. My grandmother has shaped my life in a positive way more than anyone else on the planet, and I'll lose her any day now.

Last week, after my mother and I fed her what turned out to be her last meal, my grandma's condition deteriorated quickly overnight. She could no longer swallow and was taken off food and water. The decision was made to remove IV fluids that same day.

It's hard to believe how long a person can remain alive with no food or water. I know someone whose mother lived for 12 days. I'm not sure how long my grandmother will continue to live. As I write this it's been 4 days. It's only a matter of time. Part of me hopes she'll go soon. The doctors say she's in a great deal of pain.

This isn't how she wanted to go. My grandmother wanted a quick death.

So now we're watching and waiting.

Meanwhile I've written this book that hasn't sold a single copy, as far as I can tell. I put two years of my life into TRAGIC COOLNESS, but my grandmother put nearly 40 years of her life into rearing me, and devoted more than 70 years to her children--my mother, my aunts, my uncles.

As much as I love this book and want you to read it, nothing truly matters to me right now except my family.

Please do read my new book. Buy a copy or read it somewhere like Playster or ask your local library to acquire a copy. Oh, I forgot to mention this is a work of mainstream fiction, not erotica. I realize I'm known for writing erotic, but... this ain't it.

If you want to know more about the work TRAGIC COOLNESS is based on, read the post I wrote earlier and enjoy this book trailer:

Please do forgive me for not going into more detail or being more... I don't know... marketing-y. Anyone who has watched a loved one die will surely understand it co-opts all your strength and energy.

TRAGIC COOLNESS is available from Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/901726?ref=GiselleRenardeErotica
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07JHW2Q2V?tag=dondes-20
Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=NNpyDwAAQBAJ
BN: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/tragic-coolness-giselle-renarde/1129759465
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/tragic-coolness
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1439408697

Your Ideas: Want 'em, Need 'em, Gotta Have 'em!

Remember earlier in the month when I told you author Joan Price was looking for help with a new book?  What kind of help?  Comments, thoughts, and ideas from people like you! (You're over 50, right?)

Joan is writing The Ultimate Guide to Sex after Fifty and she'll be extracting snippets (the word "snippets" kind of looks like "nipples" to me... I don't know...) from your comments to publish in her book.

The reason I'm bringing it up again is that she's posted even MORE ideas she'd like you to consider if you're interested in getting in touch with her.  This is all posted at Joan's blog: http://betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.ca/2013/07/your-comments-invited-for-my-new-book.html but I'll cross-post the new info here:

Anything you want to say interests me, and nothing is too weird or outrageous, as long as it's honest. For example:


If you're in a relationship now:

• How do you keep it sexually vibrant?
• What is interfering with having a satisfying sex life?
• Do you use any of these with your partner: role-playing, reading erotica, watching porn or romantic films, pet names, silly games, sexy games...?
• If your relationship is not sexually vibrant, what's missing?
• Do you consider yourself kinky? What form does that take, and what do you love about it?
• If you and your partner are monogamous, how do you keep sex lively?  
• If you and your partner are nonmonogamous, what went into that decision, and what are your boundaries / rules / agreements?
• How did you meet your partner? How did you know that he/she was special?
• If your relationship is bad, what would make you decide to leave?
• Have you used counseling to improve communication, sex, or other issues? 

If you're not in a relationship now:

• What do/don't you like about being single?
• Do you consider yourself to be in the dating life?
• How do you meet other singles?
• Good, bad, ugly about online dating?
• Do you have or would you accept a "friend with benefits"?
• Do you use safer sex with a new partner? If so, what safer sex precautions to you take? If not, what goes into that decision?
• Describe your worst first date (after age 50).

Whether or not you're in a relationship now:

• What medical conditions have impacted your sex life, and how have you dealt with them?
• How have sex toys enriched your sexual enjoyment (either solo or partnered)?
• How have your sexual likes & dislikes changed after age 50?
• What would you like to try that you haven't ever done?
• What do you fantasize about, but you wouldn't like to do it in real life?
• What didn't I ask that I should have?

I'll continue to update this list when different topics come up. Many thanks!

Also note that if you choose to email Joan or leave a comment on her blog, you're granting permission to be quoted (anonymously) in her book... but that's the whole point of commenting.

Be immortalized! Here's her blog post again: http://betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.ca/2013/07/your-comments-invited-for-my-new-book.html

:-)
Giselle

Over 50? Want to Share Your Views on Sex?

 

Joan Price, author of "Naked At Our Age" and "Better Than I Ever Expected," is writing a new book on sex and aging.

And... she needs YOUR help!

If you're over 50 and you'd like to share your comments with Joan, please visit her blog for more information.  You can either leave your comments at her blog (not here at Donuts and Desires, or she won't see them!) OR you can email her via the link in her post: http://betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.ca/2013/07/your-comments-invited-for-my-new-book.html

And if you're under 50, why not pass the word along to older friends?

Here are some of the topics she rolled around in her blog post, just to get your brain jumping:

• What has changed about your sexuality lately? 
• What new attitudes, experiences, techniques, or resources make sex better? 
• What are the myths and stereotypes about older people and sex, and why are they wrong?
• What challenges do you face personally? 
• Which likes and dislikes have changed? 
• How have your relationships grown -- or failed to grow? 
• What do you desire now that would have surprised your younger self?
• If you could change something, what would it be?
• What do you wonder about other people our age?
• What do you wish our society understood about our sexuality?
• What do you wish you understood about your own sexuality?
• What else would you like me to know? 

Joan's past books have been very well-received.  If you want to be part of something great, here's your chance!  Her blog again is: http://betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.ca/2013/07/your-comments-invited-for-my-new-book.html

Hugs,
Giselle

An Excellent, Approachable Guide to Non-Monogamy

I already wrote a great deal about Tristan Taormino's book Opening Up at Oh Get A Grip! (read my post here: http://ohgetagrip.blogspot.ca/2013/03/opening-up.html) but now that I've actually finished the book, I figured I'd share my Amazon-length review with Donuts & Desires readers.  Here it is:

An excellent, approachable guide to non-monogamy, incorporating a variety of models. Includes interviews with diverse individuals in open relationships, so the reader gets to hear about the joys and challenges of non-monogamy straight from those who are living the life.

Whenever I mention Opening Up to friends, they assume it's sleazy.  It's not.  This book is written in an entertaining and straightforward fashion, but it's not a "how to get a bunch of people into bed" book.  It's about creating a sustainable style of open relationship through negotiation, transparency, and understanding. 

Opening Up speaks across a broad spectrum. Whether you're into BDSM or you're an asexual romantic (or both), your needs are addressed in this book.

I recommend Opening Up highly to anyone. Even if you never have any intention of living non-monogamously, do read Opening Up.  There's something in this book for everyone.

Nuit Blanche Redux and Big Discoveries

People are always asking me what the hell "nuit blanche" means.  Directly translated, it's "white night" (most can figure out that much on their own), but it kind of means sleepless night, awake all night, that sort of thing.


Nuit Blanche is also an all-night arts festival that's held in cities worldwide.  Here in Toronto, we just had ours September 29th, from sundown to dawn.  It really does run all night.  And, as you might expect, the downtown core is packed with drunk kids and the whole city smells like pot, but if you avoid the patches of vomit along the sidewalk and try not to see all the garbage people have thrown on the streets, you can see some really amazing things.

I stopped attending Nuit Blanche for a couple years, mainly because for a while it seemed like events were getting really spread.  You had to walk a long while to get to one, and then once you got there it was pretty "meh."  I'm not exactly sure why I returned this year, but I'm glad I did.

The new Ryerson Image Centre opened its doors with an excellent inaugural exhibition (my favourite part was the panoramic views of Northern Canada), and I also spent a long while at the... oh, what was it called?  I want to say "World Championship High-Five Competition" in the front lawn of Campbell House.  Members of the public competed in pairs, putting together high-five routines, and they did it in a ring with full colour commentary.  It was hilarious.

But the best event by far was at TIFF Bell Lightbox, a YouTube-centric show called Like/Comment/Subscribe hosted by Andrew Gunadie, a.k.a @gunnarolla. And friends.  And a lot of friends, actually, because his shows all featured a musical guest.

And now we come to my loveliest discovery of the night: Mitchell Moffit.  When he walked on stage, I thought to myself "this guy will be the next Owen Pallett."  Sure enough, he started looping tracks and singing and I couldn't believe my first impression was so on the money.  He was aaaaamazing!  Amazing!  Incredibly, the performance I saw was his first live gig ever.  I was blown away, so I tracked down his website where you and I and everyone can download his album FOR FREE (with his blessing--he wants you to have it!)

Here's Mitchell Moffit's website: http://www.mitchellmoffit.com/ If you and I have the same taste in music, you're bound to love him.

K, that's it for now.
Giselle out.  
heh

Virtual Book Tour: A Book For Sex Nerds

Today Best Sex Writing 2012's Virtual Book tour makes a stop here at Donuts & Desires. I laughed when, in the book trailer (below), editor Rachel Kramer Bussel referred to BSW as "a book for sex nerds" because that sounds like a club I want to join. If you're going to be a nerd, why not go all the way? Am I right?

The first article in this book is a "SlutWalk" piece called "Sluts, Walking" by Amanda Marcotte.

Now, since the SlutWalk originated in Toronto and I happen to live in Toronto (and with the recent news, as issued by Rush Limbaugh, that we women are all a bunch of sluts--who knew?) I was immediately drawn in. I really enjoy the tone of this article, so I'm going to share an excerpt with you today.

from "Sluts, Walking" by Amanda Marcotte:

Toronto police officer Michael Sanguinetti probably thought of himself as a noble warrior against the arbiters of political correctness when he claimed, at a crime safety seminar at Osgoode Hall Law School, that the key to keeping men from raping you is to “avoid dressing like sluts.” But what he actually ended up doing was putting the final nail in the coffin of the narrative of the “humorless feminist” vs. the yuk-yuking sexists who have a monopoly on the funny. A group of men and women who were outraged at this supposed rape prevention advice responded by organizing a protest march to the front doors of the Toronto Police Service, and with a cheeky nod to Sanguinetti’s comment, called the whole thing “SlutWalk.” They also encouraged attendees to dress however they liked, including in all sorts of clothes that are commonly understood to be “slutty,” in order to drive home the point that clothes don’t cause rape—rapists do. The idea was to fight hate with humor, and fight violence with cheek and irony.

Organizers certainly wanted attention, but they probably didn’t have any idea what kind of attention the concept of sluts walking would get. In retrospect, the subsequent media blitz should have been predictable. The word slut probably generates more click-throughs than any other word on the Internet, after all, and the idea of sluts marching in protest, instead of simply sucking and fucking away in their relegated role as fantastical creatures of the pornographic imagination, was shocking enough that people simply couldn’t stop talking about it. Clearly there was a strong need to remind people that because a woman may want to have sex with some people doesn’t mean she has to take all comers—so international SlutWalk was born. SlutWalks were conducted in LA, Boston, Brisbane, Amsterdam, São Paulo, London, Helsinki, Buenos Aires, Berlin, and Cape Town, just to name a few. Women all over the world wanted to say they had a right to wear what they want and go out if they want without giving carte blanche to rapists to assault them.

Making the movement international was helped in part because the message of SlutWalk is straightforward. It’s an update on the Take Back the Night rallies. Back when those were formed, feminists were saying, “Hey, we should be able to leave our houses after dark without getting raped.” Now we’re adding to that list a few other things we should be able to do without some dude raping us and having people excuse it as if rapists were a kind of vigilante police force assigned to the task of keeping bitches in line: wear what we want, go to parties, have as many sexual partners as we like, drink alcohol. Eventually we plan to reach a point where women enjoy the freedom of men to do what they like without the inference that you have it coming if someone rapes you.

SlutWalk drew the inevitable controversy that attends women saying they have a right to do what they want without being punished for it by the traditional methods of putting women in their place, such as forced childbirth or being mauled by rapists.

Certainly, right wing responses to SlutWalk were predictable for this. The right-wing ethos is to demand that women’s sexuality and social lives be constrained with the threat of unwanted childbearing, STDs, and sexual abuse, and therefore they quite predictably defend abortion regulations, anticontraception propaganda in schools, men who catcall women on the streets, and defense attorneys who use the “she was asking for it” tactic to get their rapist clients off the hook. The predictability of these right-wing responses relegated them to background noise, no more worth debating than that grass remains green and the sky remains blue.

No, what distressed SlutWalk supporters was the noise from feminists denouncing the effort, primarily on the basis of a profound misunderstanding of the use of the word slut. For some reason, critics got it in their head that SlutWalk was about reclaiming the word slut, though their refusal to hear participants who denied that there was any kind of reclamation project going on inclines me to think they just wanted to get angry that young women were wearing miniskirts without apology.

There's much more to this article, and it gets even better!

A woman I know through one of my volunteer positions once said to me, "I always wonder about that saying, Fathers, lock up your daughters. When there's a rapist on the loose it's, lock up your daughters, lock up your daughters! I always think: why are we locking up our daughters? They're not the ones committing the rapes. Why don't we say, Fathers, lock up your sons?"

I kept thinking about that conversation while reading Marcotte's article.

To see all stops on the BSW 2012 book tour, click here: http://bestsexwriting2012.com/2012/01/08/march-2012-best-sex-writing-2012-virtual-book-tour/

Or Buy from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Best-Sex-Writing-2012-Culture/dp/1573447595

Hugs,

Giselle

--

Giselle Renarde
Canada just got hotter!

Visit me online
http://donutsdesires.blogspot.com
http://www.wix.com/gisellerenarde/erotica
http://twitter.com/GiselleRenarde

MP's Response to Discrimination Against Trans People

A couple weeks ago, I tweeted about this story, which calls attention to an unbelievable section within Canada's Ministry of Transportation's Identity Screening Regulations that reads as follows:

5.2 (1) An air carrier shall not transport a passenger if …
(c) the passenger does not appear to be of the gender indicated on the identification he or she presents;

As a queer woman and partner of a trans woman, it really scares me that these regulations are in effect. I'm not okay with trans people being denied the ability to board a flight in Canada, so in addition to signing the petition that was circulating at the time I also wrote to my Liberal Member of Parliament. Despite a cacophony of voices wanting to be heard, she got back to me in good time.

I share her response here:

Thank you for contacting me regarding the Ministry of Transportation’s Identity Screening Regulations, which prohibit airlines from allowing a person to board an airplane in Canada if their appearance does not match the gender on their identification. This could, as you rightly mention, lead to transgender people being banned from boarding airplanes in Canada.

This new rule is extremely alarming to me and my Liberal colleagues, and MP Justin Trudeau raised it in the House of Commons during Question Period on February 1, 2012. I am sure you will agree that the Minister’s reply was not sufficient or acceptable. Here is a transcript of the exchange:

Mr. Justin Trudeau (Papineau, Lib.):

Mr. Speaker, since the election, this government's lack of tolerance for our minorities has grown. A new rule prohibits airlines from allowing a person to board a plane if their appearance does not match the gender on their identification, unless they have a medical certificate. This is a direct affront to the transsexual and transgendered community, which is outraged by this minister who has introduced discrimination under the guise of security.

Why is this government obsessed with the gender of an individual, when it is their identity that matters?

Hon. Denis Lebel (Minister of Transport, Infrastructure and Communities and Minister of the Economic Development Agency of Canada for the Regions of Quebec, CPC):

Mr. Speaker, as I stated earlier, the security of Canada's airports is extremely important to our government. We believe that it is standard procedure for every individual who wishes to board a plane to be identified by the people at security screening. Since September 11, many screening measures have been improved, and I believe that it is normal for people checking the identification of those boarding the plane to be able to recognize them. We do not believe in half measures when it comes to air security. That is very important.

Thank you again for writing. Please rest assured that we will continue to raise this issue in the Commons and elsewhere.

***

If you're Canadian and you care about this (or any) issue, make your voice heard. We're stronger together.

Hugs,

Giselle

Call for Submissions: Sex: Unknown, A Digital Zine By and For Intersex Folks

Today, a call for subs for those of you who identify as intersex. Get writing!

Call for Submissions! Deadline April 1, 2012

SEX: UNKNOWN
A Digital Zine By and For Intersex Folks

Call for Submissions! Deadline: April 1, 2012
*Please forward widely*

As intersex people, we often feel alienated from queer and trans communities, our identities invisibilized within the discourse of “LGBT.” Because our experiences are portrayed as highly medicalized conditions in most forms of popular media, we want to give voice to our personal experiences and create a more complete picture of our emotional and social lives as intersex folks.

Our purpose is to create a digital zine in which to share our stories and our struggles, build a network of community support and foster transformative healing. We want to show a broad spectrum of our backgrounds with regards to race, ethnicity, class, sex, gender, sexuality, sexual orientation and nationality. This is about who we are and how we feel. We are not alone.

We invite self-identified intersex folks to send us stories, poems, narratives and visual art pieces on the feelings, experiences and struggles of living in our sexes/genders. What does intersex mean to you? How does being intersex affect your relationships with family, friends and partners? What is your experience to coming out? How do you connect to your sex and/or gender?

Send us your poems, stories, memoir/autobiography/non-fiction or other writings (limit 1,500 words, as .DOC attachments) and visual art (as .JPG attachments) to intersex.zine [at] gmail [dot] com. Please submit no more than 5 pieces total. Include your preferred name, location, age and email address. Anonymous submissions are acceptable. Let us know if your pieces have been previously published. We look forward to connecting with you!

DEADLINE: APRIL 1, 2012

The Editors:
This project is put together with love by a group of queer POC writers and activists living in Oakland and Berkeley, California. Chi Mei Tam is an intersex genderqueer Chinese American immigrant who grew up in Oakland. She is a passionate organizer for social and economic justice, specifically for immigrant and queer communities. Dylan Casama is a tomboyish boy Pinoy. He writes intersex love and ghost stories. See him published at http://www.theintersection.org/iwl/2011. Jai Arun Ravine is a trans-identified mixed race Thai American artist and ally to the intersex community. They are excited to support Chi Mei and Dylan in the production and design of this zine.

Canadian Erotic Identity (or Giselle Does the American Literary Tradition)

Threesomed, a new menage anthology, was just released by New Dawning International Bookfair, and you'll find me between the covers.

I've been itching for this anthology to come out, because I couldn't wait to tell everybody about my story, Good Neighbors. When it comes to short stories, I often don't have much editorializing to do because the works speak for themselves. While Good Neighbors certainly speaks for itself (gang bang in the woods--booya!) there is another dimension to this one I want to share.

The story of conceptualizing this group sex tale begins last March during a snow storm. Sweet and I had tickets to attend a conversation with Margaret Atwood, and with the amount of snow being dumped on the city I was really worried our evening's plans would fall flat. Good thing Margaret Atwood still lives close to our Alma Mater, because the event went on through the snow, in true Canadian fashion.

What I found most sticky, of everything discussed, was Margaret Atwood's mention of a Nathaniel Hawthorne story called Young Goodman Brown. She was talking about Canadian versus American literary identity, and characterizing Young Goodman Brown as a prime example of American literature, and a reminder of America's roots and why that country came to be.

Young Goodman Brown is a story about an upstanding young puritan who one night discovers all his fine upstanding neighbours involved in a Satanic ritual.

So that was my starting point for my gang bang erotic fiction work Good Neighbors.

This is an instance where spelling is important. I'm Canadian. Even when working with American publishers, I most often fight to retain my Canadian spellings. In this instance, I went the opposite route, opting for the spelling Neighbors over Neighbours, because this story is sort of an ode to America.

I walked away from Margaret Atwood's evening in conversation contemplating my work and what defines it as Canadian and not American. Identity is an issue we Canadians struggle with collectively, but Margaret Atwood's words got my mind working overtime. America is a country founded by puritans. Canada is a country founded by hunters, explorers, trappers. Therein lies our fundamental difference.

Most Canadians can't really explain why we're different from Americans, we just know we are. In a sense, we're eternally pubescent children trying to figure out our place in the world, knowing we're the continent's misfits, but not yet secure in our collective identity.

By and large, I don't think the American audience is all that interested in my writing. I make that statement based on absolutely nothing. No evidence, just a gut feeling. And the fact that most of my known fans are Brits, Australians, New Zealanders, and other Canadians.

With Good Neighbors (spelled the American way), my goal was to write a piece of American erotic fiction. It was sort of an experiment, and one I quite enjoyed, but it was entered into self-reflexively and I don't know if it will be received that way or not. At its base, it's a story about a "prudish" wife who actually quite likes getting fucked by the whole neighbourhood. (Oops! My spelling's gone Canadian.) It's explicit gang bang erotica. It can certainly be read that way. One needn't be aware of its American literary inspiration to enjoy the piece.

But at its BASE base, it's my Symphony For the New World.

Hope you like it.

Hugs,

Giselle

--
Giselle Renarde

Canada just got hotter!

Visit me online
http://donutsdesires.blogspot.com
http://www.wix.com/gisellerenarde/erotica
http://twitter.com/GiselleRenarde

Relief for Writers: Words of Liberation from Salman Rushdie

A while back I watched Allan Gregg In Conversation with Salman Rushdie, and they hit on a topic that struck me deeply: being disliked as a writer. Of course, we all know that in our heads, but does it ever filter down to our hearts? It hurts to be disliked. That's how our hearts react--they hurt.

So when Salman Rushdie described the realization that there will always be people who don't like your work as a "liberation," I actually felt a bit of the pressure of life as a writer lift.

I rewatched the episode and typed out the relevant bit (I'm sure there must have been an easier way, but oh well) and here is the part that impacted me most deeply:

One of the things you learn as a writer—and, in my case, rather more so—is that you don’t please everyone. No matter how hard you try to do the best you can, no matter how many fans or people who like what you do there may be, there will be people who don’t like it, full stop, and that’s true not just of me because of what happened with The Satanic Verses, that’s true of all writers everywhere.

…

There’s a certain point where you see that as a liberation. Once you give up the idea of everybody loving you, you realize you’re going to have people who like what you do, you’re going to have people who dislike what you do, and that’s okay.

~Salman Rushdie on Allan Gregg In Conversation

If you'd like to watch the full conversation it is available here (hopefully worldwide, but since it was aired on TVOntario there might be restrictions):

http://ww3.tvo.org/video/163633/salman-rushdie-luca-fire-life-full

--
Giselle Renarde

Canada just got hotter!

Visit me online
http://donutsdesires.blogspot.com
http://www.wix.com/gisellerenarde/erotica
http://twitter.com/GiselleRenarde

6 Steps to FREE Publicity: A Book You Need To Read

While Donuts and Desires isn't a review site, I came across a book I absolutely needed to share with you. 6 Steps to FREE Publicity by Marcia Yudkin is a brilliant marketing tool that I highly recommend to absolutely anybody. Seriously. Anybody, any business, any market. Its applications are just that broad, and yet as I was reading this book I felt, every step of the way, that Yudkin was speaking directly to me. That's no mean feat!

Let me backtrack a bit, because I've left a few things out already. First off, what is 6 Steps to FREE Publicity? Well, it's a book about marketing and promotions, at a base level, but when I was reading it, I found myself reflecting upon the little examples Yudkin provided. Although it's non-fiction, it was on my mind the way a novel would have been. I actually looked forward to coming home, making myself a nice cup of tea, and sitting down with Yudkin's book.

Another little detail I managed to omit is that it's the third edition of 6 Steps to FREE Publicity that I'm talking about. I haven't read the first two, but I gather the third deals more with internet promotion--score!

When I flipped through this lime green paperback in the library, it was Yudkin's approachable writing style that drew me in. This book contains information I needed to know, but its delivery is what most impressed me. A book about marketing could very easily be boring. 6 Steps to FREE Publicity is not. A book about marketing could be so general that the reader can't imagine how it might be applicable to her business. Not the case, here. Yudkin provides examples from a broad range of entrepreneurs and somehow, miraculously, even when she's describing a publicity method utilized by a pet care business, I could always see a way to apply those ideas in the promotion of my books and myself as a writer.

And, getting right down to it, most of the people reading my blog are probably writers. If you are an author, as I am, and you feel like you need a stronger foundation in promoting your work but you don't want to spend a fortune doing it, read 6 Steps to FREE Publicity. Yudkin cites many examples from authors, including writers of romance fiction, which are particularly applicable to our endeavours.

I honestly can't believe how much I learned from this book. Although I was taking notes all the way through, Yudkin's use of concrete examples and amusing anecdotes helped to cement various concepts in my mind. I can't over-emphasize how approachable her tone is. Yes, this is going to sounds super-flaky, but as I was reading this book I kept thinking, "She gets me! Marcia Yudkin really gets me!"

6 Steps to FREE Publicity is an invaluable resource for indie authors. I'm so glad I picked it up--and you will be, too!

Hugs,

Giselle

--

Giselle Renarde

Canada just got hotter!

Visit me online
http://donutsdesires.blogspot.com
http://www.wix.com/gisellerenarde/erotica
http://twitter.com/GiselleRenarde

Call Me A "Sexpert" ~ Shoshanna Evers Did!

Although, I think that may be a typo and she meant for the "t" to be a "v"--I really am more perv than pert.

No, I'm kidding. Shoshanna Evers (erotic romance author, advice columnist, registered nurse, the list goes on) has put together a kick-ass collection of writing essays called "How to Write Hot Sex" and, as you'll see in the blurby below, my advice on writing fetish and niche market sex will be included. And that makes me a sexpert. As Homer would say...."Woo-hoo!"

In my essay, I've answered questions that aspiring authors have contacted me with over the years, so readers ought to find this information helpful. Also, fetish and BDSM are areas where many novice writers go very, very wrong and inadvertently represent practices and practitioners so inaccurately they get themselves blackballed by editors (it's true!) so I've provided advice on how to prevent that from happening.

"How to Write Hot Sex" has not been released yet, but stay tuned and I'll let you know when it hits the shelves.

From Shoshanna's website:

Here’s the blurb for the upcoming book

“How to Write Hot Sex: Tips from Multi-Published Erotic Romance Authors”

This collection of essays by multi-published erotic romance authors details the art of writing sizzling hot sex scenes.

Whether you’re writing sensual, steamy, or full-on explicit sex scenes, writers can learn from the authors who write and sell sexy books for a living. Do you want to write erotica? Or an erotic romance? Perhaps you just want to add some hot sexual tension to your romance novel.
This is the book for you.

Here you’ll find essays on the art of writing smokin’ hot vanilla sex, gay sex, BDSM, kink, and ménage, as well as essays on how to find paying markets and publishers for your books and short stories.

“How to Write Hot Sex: Tips from Multi-Published Erotic Romance Authors” gives you all the information you need to write sex well and get published!


Featuring the following multi-published authors' essays:

• L.K. Below - The Law of Attraction
• Christine D’Abo - Boys Will Be Boys: Writing Male/Male Romance
• Kate Douglas (NY Times bestselling author) - Writing the Fine Line Between Erotica and Porn
• Delphine Dryden - So You Think You Can Kink?
• Shoshanna Evers – Getting Published
• Desiree Holt – Five Sexy Senses to Rev Up Scenes
• Jean Johnson - Biology: The Good, The Bad, & the Sex Scene
• Isabo Kelly - Fighting Sex
• Cara McKenna - Real Ugly
• Giselle Renarde - How To Write Convincing Fetish and Niche Market Sex
• Charlotte Stein - Sexy Sentences
• Cari Quinn - Rx for a Sagging Sex Scene

All Gender Health Survey: Compensation Provided

All Gender Health Online is currently looking for Cisgender (non-trans) Men who have sex with Transgender (female-to-male transsexual) Men for a survey regarding sexual health. If you are a non-trans man who's had sex with a trans man, you may qualify. To sweeten the deal, they're offering a $30 gift card to all participants.

Here's some 'splaining:

From the All Gender Health Online website:

By participating in this study, you help us understand and increase awareness of the sexual health of non-transgender men who have sex with transgender people. Findings from this study will be used to develop an online intervention to prevent HIV infection and transmission among transgender people and their partners, such as yourself.

If you're interested or have any questions, visit the site here: https://www.allgenderhealth.org/TGHome.aspx

Hugs,

Giselle

Call for Submissions: Best Sex Writing 2012

Editor Rachel Kramer Bussel says she's hoping this call for subs will reach writers (and not-so-much writers) far and wide, so I'm posting it here for your consideration! Even if you don't consider yourself a "sex writer," you might want to give this one a once-over.

Rachel says:

This is not part of the “official” call but I’d really love to see pieces that are not by “sex writers,” but by comedians or comedy writers, other kinds of artists, scientists, etc. – people who deal with sex in their fields (or personal lives). To me its vastness as a subject is what makes sex continually interesting, so please, spread the word wide and far. The deadline is looking (May 1st) but I hope this reaches all sorts of fascinating people. I highly encourage you to check out the previous editions (these links go to the pages for those books, or see more information at www.bestsexwriting.com) of the series to get a feel for the types of work we are looking for, but anything nonfiction about sex is applicable. For tables of contents and introductions, see: Best Sex Writing 2008, Best Sex Writing 2009 and Best Sex Writing 2010.

Best Sex Writing 2012
Editor: Rachel Kramer Bussel; selections by guest judge Susie Bright
Publisher: Cleis Press in December 2011
Deadline: May 1, 2011 (earlier submissions welcomed!)
Payment: $100

Editor Rachel Kramer Bussel is looking for personal essays and reportage for inclusion in the 2012 edition of the Cleis Press series Best Sex Writing, which will hit stores in December 2011. Any non-fiction writing covering the topic of sex will be considered.

I like work that looks at sex in new and unusual ways (see Stacey D'Erasmo's "Silver-Balling" in Best Sex Writing 2009 for a prime example, as well as "It's a Shame About Ray" by Kirk Read and "Sexual Outlaw" by Betty Dodson in Best Sex Writing 2010), that challenges us to think about sex and our own sexuality, is thought-provoking and possibly disturbing. I want sex journalism that's found in the most unexpected places and is as topical as possible.

No fiction or poetry will be considered.

Previous editions of BSW have featured authors such as Brian Alexander, Violet Blue, Susannah Breslin, Betty Dodson, Stephen Elliott, Gael Greene, Paul Krassner, Judith Levine, Michael Musto, Scott Poulson-Bryant, Mary Roach, Tristan Taormino, Virginia Vitzhum, and others.

Requirements: For reprints, story must have been published (or is slated to be published) between August 1, 2010 and December 31, 2011, online and/or in print (book, magazine, zine or newspaper) in the United States. Original, unpublished work is also welcome.

Authors:
Please send your double-spaced submission (1,500-4,000 words) as a Word document or RTF attachment to bestsexwriting2012 at gmail.com — you may submit a maximum of TWO pieces for consideration. You MUST include your full contact information, a 50-word or less bio, and previous publication details for reprints.

Include your name, email address, mailing address, phone number, and exact publication details (title of publication, date of publication, and any other relevant information). Only send work you own the licensing rights to.

Editors:
Submit up to three submissions from their publication, following the guidelines above. Provide the author's contact information available upon request.

Email address (for queries and submissions): bestsexwriting2012 at gmail.com
Payment: $100

Deadline: May 1, 2011 (earlier submissions welcomed and encouraged)
You will receive an email confirming your submission; after that you can expect to hear back from me by August 2011.

Rights bought:
Author hereby grants Editors, during the first term of the United States copyright, and any renewals thereof, in the "Work":
a. The non-exclusive right to "publish" (i.e. print, publish, and sell) the Work as part of the Book in book and digital form in English in the United States and its territories; and
b. The non-exclusive right to "publish" and license the Work as part of the Book in book and digital form in English in other countries; and
c. The non-exclusive right to license translate and publish the Work as part of the Book in book and digital form in languages other than English in all countries.

Rachel Kramer Bussel (rachelkramerbussel.com) is an author, editor, blogger and event organizer. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations, sex columnist for SexIs Magazine, and has edited 38 anthologies, including Gotta Have It, Surrender, Best Bondage Erotica 2011, Orgasmic, Fast Girls, Spanked, Bottoms Up and Best Sex Writing 2008, 2009 and 2010. She hosted In The Flesh Reading Series from 2005-2010 and writes for a variety of publications about sex, dating, books and pop culture.

Susie Bright (susiebright.com) is the author of the national bestsellersFull Exposure and The Sexual State of the Union, as well as The Best American Erotica and Herotica series, which ushered in women’s erotic publishing. She the host of Audible’s In Bed With Susie Bright, the longest-running sex-ed show in the history of broadcasting. She was co-founder and editor of On Our Backs magazine, and was the first journalist to cover erotic cinema and the porn business in the mainstream press. A progenitor of the sex-positive movement, Bright taught the first university course on pornography, and brought lasting sexual influence to her role in films like Bound and The Celluloid Closet. Her latest book is the memoir Big Sex Little Death.

SHE is the Cat's Mother: Idiomatic Talk for Writers and Readers

I have very vague recollections of my great-grandmother saying "She is the cat's mother" and of having absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos

Of course, I would have been very young at the time, and not particularly adept at parsing idiomatic English, so it took an explanation from my grandma to clarify. The axiom "She is the cat's mother" was my great-grandmother's way of saying that it's rude to refer to a person as she. She is the cat's mother; humans ought to be referred to by name, as Jane, or Mrs. Macintosh, or Grandma.

My grandmother on the other side of the family had a favourite saying, too: "Quand le chat est parti, les souris dansent." I was an adult before I ever realized there was an English equivalent to that saying, and that it actually rhymed: "When the cat's away, the mice will play." I suppose it was grand-mère's way of telling us she didn't trust us kids for a second, unsupervised.

I had a grandfather who said, "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" each time he tried to give us kids money we wouldn't accept. Apparently, when checking on a horse's health, one looks at its teeth. If you're buying a horse, by all means check out those teeth, but if you're given a horse for free it's rude to analyze the gift.

Keeping with this animal theme, my girlfriend often spouts a saying of her grandmother's: "Hay is for horses." Want to guess what that's in response to? "Hey, guess what?" And I say that a lot...which means I hear that saying, "Hay is for horses," just as often.

Maybe these sayings, proverbs, axioms, whatever you'd like to call them, stand out in my mind because I didn't understand them on first hearing. They're cute, and every one unique, in my mind, to the speaker.

Idiomatic speech might not be so particular as outdated axioms, but we all have turns of phrase we favour and others we rarely use. If there's one mistake many writers make in scripting dialogue, I would say it's overuse of a common lexicon across all characters. It's an incredibly easy trap to fall into: this is the way I talk, so this is the way all my characters will talk.

We may not notice that each of our characters says, "You're barking up the wrong tree," or "She's got an axe to grind," or "Mum's the word," but readers will. This is particularly obvious when characters across various generations or social groups use the same turns of phrase.

My grandmother would never say, "That sucks," but I would, whereas my friend Jamie would say, "Bad news bears!" If I step on somebody's toes, the first word out of my mouth is, "Désolée!" whereas you might say, "I'm sorry," and your character who's having a rotten day might say, "Outta my way, jackass!"

Another important detail for us writers to watch is our use of idiomatic language within the narrative as compared to dialogue. If we're writing in deep third, for instance, and we tend to use our POV character's turns of phrase within the narrative, it's very obvious when those exact same turns of phrase show up the dialogue. We don't want for my great-grandmother Martha to say, "My God! She's beautiful! Who is she?" and Billy Joe Bob at the diner to reply...oh, for example... "SHE is the cat's mother."

Long story short: we all use varied turns of phrase and so should our characters.

As a parting shot (like all my idiomatic language today?) I'll ask questions to both the writers and the readers who have stuck it out through all this "writing" talk:

Writers, do you find there are certain idioms, sayings, or turns of phrase you can't get away from in dialogue? How aware are you of differentiation of lexicon between characters?

Readers, did the stories about my grandparents' favourite sayings bring any lost proverbs to mind? Do you remember your parents or grandparents overusing certain turns of phrase? And do you ever catch yourself saying them now and think, "Ach! I'm becoming my mother!"

Hugs,

Giselle Renarde

Canada just got hotter

www.wix.com/gisellerenarde/erotica

Meet the Giant Pooping Christmas Elf

If you live anywhere near Catalonia, Spain, you might already be familiar with this happy fellow. He's Caganer, one of the region's traditional Christmas statues. And no, you're not seeing things. He really is taking a giant crap in the middle of the mall. Too many candy canes, I guess, or...what are those, apples?

Why build a giant pooping elf in the middle of your shopping mall? Well...if Wikipedia doesn't know, then neither do I. But, according to Wiki:

In Catalonia, as well as in Spain and in most of Italy and Southern France, traditional Christmas decorations consist of a large model of the city of Bethlehem, similar to the Nativity scenes of the English-speaking world but encompassing the entire city rather than just the typical manger scene. The caganer ... is often tucked away in a corner of the model, typically nowhere near the manger scene.

Possible reasons for placing a man who is in the act of excreting waste in a scene which is widely considered holy include:

• Tradition.
• Perceived humor.
• A fun spectacle, especially for children.
• The Caganer, by creating feces, is fertilizing the Earth. However, this is probably an a posteriori explanation, and few cite this reason for including the Caganer in the Nativity scene.
• The Caganer represents the equality of all people: regardless of status, race, or gender, everyone shits.
• Increased naturalism of an otherwise archetypal (thus idealised) story, so that it is more believable, taken literally and seriously.
• The idea that God will manifest himself when he is ready, without regard for whether we human beings are ready or not.
• The caganer reinforces that the infant Jesus is God in human form, with all that being human implies.

The exact origin of the Caganer is lost, but the tradition has existed since the 17th century.

So, there we go. We've all (sort of?) learned something new and can consider ourselves that much smarter. Not as smart as Einstein, of course, and if you shop at http://www.caganer.com you already know that he poops too. Hey, everybody does it!

Happy Breakup Day!

Or is it "Merry Breakup Day"? I can never remember...

Well, kids, the data is in and it turns out the highest period of breakups, aside from the weeks of Spring Break, is the two weeks leading up to Christmas.

David McCandless monitored the data from thousands of Facebook feeds for terms like "is now single" and "breakup" and used the results to generate the graph you see above.

You'll also notice Mondays are particularly popular breakup days. From these trends, sociologists all over the blogosphere predict the highest incidence of breakups will occur on the Monday falling two weeks before Christmas.

And guess what, my darling sweethearts? That day is today, Monday December 13th, 2010. It's officially breakup day.

So I'd like to send out a special round of hugs to all those who are newly broken up, and who are bound to breakup over the next two weeks. You have my sincere well-wishes for a quick recovery and a happy future. You never know...your partner might just come to their senses and realize life without you is just the pits.

Also, take comfort in knowing it's not you, it's just about every Facebook user. There are lots of breakups going on right now. You are not alone. It's rough right now, but there's light at the end of the tunnel. May you emerge bathed in the divine luminescence shining from your heart.

You are loved. Just because somebody breaks up with you doesn't mean you're any less worthy of sincere affection from those around you. Hugs, my darlings.

And, hey, we can all take comfort in knowing Christmas Day shows the lowest incidence of breakups all year long. If you make it to December 25, you're in good shape. If not, my thoughts are with you.

Hugs and Bright Blessings,

Giselle Renarde

Canada just got hotter!