Today's Ka-Thump is Best Erotic Romance 2014

I covet some things. Like a place in one of Kristina Wright's yearly Best Erotic Romance anthologies.  It's taken me yeeeeears to get in, so chin up all you aspiring authors. If at first you don't succeed, submit, submit again!

In this year's collection, you'll find my story "Something New":

“Any new ideas?” Elson asked.

He always pushed her to dream up something new, something they’d never tried before. Something they’d never even discussed.

“I don’t know.” Kim cradled the phone against her shoulder and fluffed her pillows. “Let me think for a sec.”

It wasn’t easy coming up with some kinky new move for each visit. In truth, Kim would have been happy with a straightforward fuck. She liked fucking. It was easy—he got on top, she spread her legs. Towering over her, he rutted like an animal until he filled her with cum. Why couldn’t they do that all the time?

“Hey, why don’t we save something new for the wedding night?” Kim nestled into bed. The sheets were cold, and she loved how fresh they felt against her warm skin. “That’d be a nice treat, to go all out when we’re finally married.”

That should buy her some time.

Just got my contributor's copies in the mail today and they look great, just like everything Cleis Press puts out there.

The Accidental Paranormal Erotica Box Set

I'm not really sure how this happened...

I didn't feel like writing on Sunday, so I whittled away the hours trying to figure out how to link a table of contents in Word on this 300-year-old Mac.  And somehow I ended up making a box set. (?) Weird things happen when I struggle with technology.

This particular box set contains 18 stories drawn from the anthologies "Blood Addict: Paranormal Romance, Menage and BDSM Erotica" and "Girls Gone Carnal: Lesbian Vampires, Witches and Weres." I also threw in a gender transformation historical Welsh fairy story (what else?) called "Secrets of the Solstice Sacrifice."

The result is this:

Paranormal Erotica Box Set: Vampires, Shifters, and Fairy Tales for Adults

Take an anthology of paranormal erotic romance BDSM stories, add a collection brimming with lesbian vampires and shapeshifters, top it off with a secret solstice sacrifice, and what have you got?

The Paranormal Erotica Box Set!

From the bisexual vampire hairdressers of Blood Addict to the blood-thirsty lesbians of Girls Gone Carnal, there's a story to suit every taste in this 65,000+ word compilation of 18 sexy stories. Got a taste for threesomes? Gothic horror? Bondage? Gender transformation? Succubi? Fairies and legends? You'll find it all, and so much more, in this great new collection!

For the full table of contents, you can check out the Amazon page. This collection is available at the special introductory price of $2.99 right now, which is amazing considering that if you bought Blood Addict, Girls Gone Carnal and Secrets of the Solstice Sacrifice separately you'd be paying almost $15 and if you bought all of the individual stories (well, those that are available as ebooks) it would cost you... crikey, like $30 or something?

Anyway, good price. Get it.

at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IM10J32
at Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00IM10J32
in Canada: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B00IM10J32
in Australia: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B00IM10J32

Pre-Order Now! Like It's 1999: Diary of a Teenager in Love with a Teacher

When I first mentioned I would be releasing the diary I wrote in my final year in high school as a book, many of you expressed a voyeuristic attraction to my young adult life.  First off, thanks!  I was relieved to receive so much encouragement.  I'm never sure if I'm heading in the right direction, not only when it comes to my writing life, but in every aspect of my existence.

I think I might have mentioned this before, but I only came across my diary from 1999 (the only year I kept a diary) a couple months ago.  I'd forgotten it existed.  When I sat down to read it as a thirty-something, I wasn't exactly pleased.  It didn't read the way I wanted it to. I wanted it to be... different.  I think I wanted ME to be different.

When I tell myself the story of that time, I always seem to cast myself as the villain.  In my mind, 1999 is the story of a young seductress discovering her sexuality to wield power over the teacher she's got a crush on.

But when you read the diary you'll see, as I did, that the story I tell myself doesn't reflect the truth.  I was much more vulnerable and naive than I was ever willing to admit.  Maybe that's why I felt such a strong compulsion to make this diary public: I can't change the past--I can only change my perception of it. 

I've seen myself as the villain of my life story for 15 years.  Strangely, it's hard to come to terms with the possibility that perhaps I was just another teenaged girl navigating young adulthood.

But sharing the diary with you when it's released on March 14, 2014 is part of that process.

I should probably "warn" you this isn't a sex diary. There's really no adult content... well, not compared to the stuff I usually write.

LIKE IT'S 1999: Diary of a Teenager in love with at Teacher is now available for pre-order from Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/like-its-1999-giselle-renarde/1118723655

LIKE IT'S 1999: Diary of a Teenager in love with at Teacher


True confessions of a real-life high school student on the cusp of a new millennium.

On the eve of the year 2000, high school student Giselle struggles with spirituality, ambiguous friendships, a family dealing with the aftermath of substance abuse, and deepening feelings of attraction toward her English teacher, a married man more than twice her age. Over the course of one school year, she shifts from seeing Lawrence as a father figure to falling obsessively in love. Is Giselle making a total fool of herself, or will her teacher return her affection? Having an affair with a student would easily cost Lawrence his career, his wife, and his kids, not to mention his sanity. Will a by-the-books teacher sacrifice everything to indulge Giselle’s teenage crush?

LIKE IT’S 1999 is the actual, unabridged, honest-to-god diary of a teenager in love with her teacher.

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/like-its-1999-giselle-renarde/1118723655

Call for Submissions: Female Fantasy Erotica

A couple days ago, I posted Rachel Kramer Bussel's other call for subs with a March 1st deadline, which you can read here. Today it's Female Fantasy Erotica:


Call for Submissions: Female Fantasy Erotica, March 1 deadline

To be published by Cleis Press 

This collection of erotica will feature female protagonists living out their hottest fantasies. From vanilla kinky, single to partnered, from 18 to elderly, I'm looking for stories of all sorts of women (transgender characters are also welcome) exploring new aspects of their sexuality. For inspiration, feel free to check out a list by Violet Blue of common sexual fantasies, but stories must capture what about that particular fantasy for that particular character is so compelling and make it red-hot to work for this book, and authors are encouraged to be creative, daring and provocative with exploring the definition of fantasy and how it plays out for your character. All characters should be over 18. No nonconsensual scenes. No bestiality, scat or incest. No poetry. Please see my anthologies Orgasmic, Women in Lust, and Fast Girls for examples of the kinds of stories I'm looking for. Unpublished stories only (this includes blogs and websites). 

How to submit: Send double spaced Times or Times New Roman 12 point black font Word document with pages numbered (.doc, not .docx) OR RTF of 1,500-4,000 word story. Indent the first line of each paragraph half an inch and double space (regular double spacing, do not add extra lines between paragraphs or do any other irregular spacing). US grammar (double quotation marks around dialogue, etc.) required. Only submit your final, best version of the story you are submitting. Do not send multiple versions of the same story. Include your legal name (and pseudonym if applicable), mailing address, and 50 word or less bio in the third person to fantasyantho@gmail.com. If you are using a pseudonym, please provide your real name as well as your pseudonym and make it clear which one you’d like to be credited as. For the smoothest editorial process, please double check that the byline you are using with your submission is the byline you'd want published. You will receive a confirmation within 72 hours. I will get back to you by September 2014. I cannot give any feedback on rejected submissions.  

Payment: $50 and 2 copies of the book on publication  

Deadline: March 1, 2014 (earlier submissions strongly encouraged)  

About the editor: Rachel Kramer Bussel (rachelkramerbussel.com) is the editor of over 50 anthologies, including The Big Book of Orgasms, Baby Got Back: Anal Erotica, Serving Him, Best Bondage Erotica 2011, 2012 and 2013, Irresistible, Gotta Have It, Women in Lust Orgasmic, Fast Girls, Passion, Peep Show, Bottoms Up, Spanked, The Mile High Club, Do Not Disturb, He’s on Top, She’s on Top, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, Crossdressing, and Dirty Girls. Her writing has been published in over 100 anthologies, including Susie Bright’s X: The Erotic Treasury, Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006, and Zane’s Purple Panties and the New York Times bestseller Succulent: Chocolate Flava II. She has written for Cosmopolitan, The Daily Beast, Fresh Yarn, Inked, Mediabistro, Newsday, New York Post, Penthouse, The Root, Salon, Time Out New York, xoJane, Zink and other publications.

At Your Mercy: A Spanking in the Woods

Take a dominating older man, a bratty younger woman, a dysfunctional non-relationship, and what do you get?

Hot, hard spankings in the woods.

He's married and she's engaged, but that doesn’t stop Mercedes from meeting Simon in the woods. She can’t help worrying, though. What if they’re spotted together? She doesn't want word getting back to his wife or her fiancé. More than that, Mercedes hates the way people look at them in public: an older man chasing after a younger woman's body, and a gold-digging girl who's only in it for the money.

So what if that’s the truth? So what if Simon pays her for sex? She still resents the assumption…

Here's a taste. Just a little one:

“Get on your knees, Mercy.” He unbuckled his braided leather belt with one hand while she sucked like crazy on the other. “Get down there and give me what I’m paying for.”

“Mmm-mmm.” She shook her head, the refusal muffled by the fingers in her mouth.

“Yes, I think you will.” His voice had a sing-song quality to it, like a nanny softly cajoling her charge into action.

Mercedes pulled his fingers from between her lips. “Are you insane? We’ll get arrested. I don’t know why I even agreed to meet you out here. If I’m not back at the office in…”

Simon unzipped his khakis.

At Your Mercy: A Spanking in the Woods is available from:

All Romance: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-atyourmercyaspankinginthewoods-1426009-147.html
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IJQ6TP2
Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00IJQ6TP2
And other etailers

Deadline's Approaching for Best Bondage Erotica 2015

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Lexi Wood's been up to no good... (yes, we're talking taboo erotica)

A certain sock puppet called Lexi Wood has recently taken over my computer and my self-publishing accounts. Not just that--she also convinced me to create book covers for this new series of taboo smut she's cooked up.

Her stories are about Uncle Larry, whose wife has just left him, and his niece Theresa, who's come to live with him and babysit his boys for the summer.  Even though they're only related by marriage, they know how wrong it would be if they surrendered to temptation... but I have a feeling they'll go through with it anyway. That sort of thing tends to happen in smut.

The first story is available now: 

In The Pool With Uncle Larry (at Smashwords)

In The Pool With Taboo Larry (at Amazon)

By day, she takes care of his kids. By night, she takes care of him.

Oh, there are about a million reasons why Theresa should keep her paws off Larry. For starters, he’s her uncle. In case that’s not enough, she’s been playing nanny to his kids since their mother ran off. When Uncle Larry catches Theresa alone in the pool at two in the morning (and doing more than just skinny dipping), they can’t resist any longer. Why does something so wrong feel so right?

There’s no way the boys—or anyone else—can find out what’s really going on. It’s too taboo…

Buy Now!

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IIQ4U9A

Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00IIQ4U9A

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/409876
 
***

LEXI WOOD is a sock puppet who came to life one night while her keeper was out picking up Chinese food. When nobody’s around, she bashes her face against a typewriter until stories come out. And those stories are shocking.

Lexi’s exterior is 53% acrylic, 37% nylon, and 10% recycled tinsel. On the inside, she’s full of bloodlust, wanderlust, lust-lust, bathtub gin, and pills she found on the floor. She also got into those tranquilizers you give your cat to get it in the travel carrier. You shouldn’t leave those things lying around.

Handmade in Vulgaria.

When she’s feeling dirty, Lexi likes to be held in soapy water and rubbed vigorously. In her spare time, she sits on the shelf, waiting for someone to shove a fist in her hole.

Obligatory Family Day Post (or "Watching Downton Abbey With My Mother")

Today is a holiday in Ontario.  It's "Family Day." Usually I blog about that as a concept, but after spending yesterday with my mom and a couple of my siblings, I'm just going to post this conversation that happened during Downton Abbey (it was LAST week's episode, which I'd missed):

Mom: I've never seen this show before.

Me: It's a soap opera.

Mom: Who is that?

Me: Anna. She's a maid.

Mom: Oooh... what happened?

Me: She was raped.

Mom: By him?

Me: No. That's the Earl. He owns the house.

Mom: Is that girl a maid too?

Me: (laughing) No, that's Lady Mary.  She's one of the Earl's daughters. She sort of runs the house. Kind of.

Mom: Is that the Head Servant?

Me: The butler, yes.

Mom: Is that the girl who was attacked?

Me: No, that's Lady Edith. Her fiancee is missing.

Mom: I wonder how they get their hair like that.  Do you think they... (Sorry, guys, my mom talked about hair over an entire scene and I don't remember a word she said, until:) ...and then they'd put pins in it, like bobby pins, to keep the curls in place.

Me: Okay.

Mom: Oh... HER!

Me: Maggie Smith.

Mom: She's in this?

Me: Yes.

Mom: Is that the girl who was attacked?

Me: No, that's Lady Edith again.

Mom: Do they always talk about pigs this much?

Me: Yes, Downton Abbey is 50% pigs.

(my sister walks into the room)

Sister: This episode was on last week.

Me: I know. I missed it.

Mom: I've never seen this show before.

Sister: What? We watched it together last week.

Mom: Hmmm... I thought I'd never seen it before.

Sister: We watched this EXACT episode last week!

Mom: I must have fallen asleep.

Sister: No, you didn't. You asked me questions through the entire thing.

Mom: Do you know how they get their hair like that?

Sister: THAT'S WHAT YOU ASKED ME LAST WEEK!

(aaaaand scene)

Happy Family Day.
Giselle

A Kinky Gift for that Special Someone on Valentine's Day

See that sparkly-ass sign up there? That's what my girlfriend gave me for Valentine's Day. According to the tag on the back, it cost her $3 at Dollarama.  I'd say she overpaid, but I'm just not that into sparkly junk from the dollar store. We don't usually exchange gifts for Valentine's Day (I didn't get her anything), and I guess you might say something is better than nothing... but it's not.

Sweet also gave me some great sex, though. If I associate this stupid sparkly gift with the way she kissed me today... okay, it kinda makes me smile.  I haven't thrown it in a dumpster yet, so that's something.

Speaking of great sex and Valentine's Day gifts, today is the re-release date for my anthology Kinksters: 12 Stories of Wild Group Sex, Bisexual Fun and Kinky Pleasures. 

• Buy it for yourself, buy it for your sweetheart, buy it for your kinkiest friend or, hell, buy it for your mother--I won't judge.  
• Buy the ebook today and you'll get it right now. Most retailers have a way to send an ebook as a gift, if you're giving it away.
• Buy the paperback and, okay, you won't get it immediately but you'll end up something you can hold in your hands.

Kinky couples are great, but nothing beats a group of kinksters!

In this anthology by kinky queer Canadian Giselle Renarde, a Domme and sub share their fetish with an old friend while a sword collector pays five young men to fulfill her sex swing fantasy. Geeky grad students chase tornadoes and tail while an unapologetic cougar gets licked by three college girls.

A gorgeous restaurant manager plots to take down her boss, only to discover he’s two steps ahead. There’s an all-girl waxing session, a vintage clothing enthusiast who’s shocked to discover her lover’s “other woman” is actually a man, and a bureaucrat whose male escorts happen to be angels.

Six socialites switch partners for a Rainbow Night to remember, but not before an athletic team takes bondage to the next level. To top it all, a room full of lesbians lose it over a tattooed femme in Lesbukake.

Twelve sexy stories are ready and waiting. On your mark… get set… KINK!

Table of Contents

1. Knowing the Ropes

2. Five Body Blade

3. Elementary, My Dear Kathryn

4. Honey Trap

5. In the Eye

6. Waxing is for Pussies

7. The Other Other Woman

8. Tisha and Narine’s Afterhours Fetish Party

9. Wonderful Wing Boys

10. Debbie Does Dalhousie

11. Rainbow Night

12. Lesbukake

Where can you get your copy?  Right here:

B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/kinksters-giselle-renarde/1118605549?ean=9781495460258

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/405431

All Romance Ebooks: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-kinksters12storiesofwildgroupsexbisexualfunandkinkypleasures-1420223-147.html

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/KINKSTERS-Stories-Group-Bisexual-Pleasures/dp/1495460258/

Coffee Time Romance: http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/BookStore/pubs_product_book_info/indie-authors-giselle-renarde-c-152_193/kinksters-wild-group-sex-bisexual-fun-and-kinky-pleasures-p-11807

CreateSpace: https://www.createspace.com/4657279

 
Happy Valentine's Day and Enjoy!
Giselle