Gratitude

This post was written in 2015

Last week I had a dream. I dreamed I still worked in an office, in the industry that employed me in the early 2000's. I dreamed my client was freaking out about some ridiculously minor issue. It felt so familiar. That was my every day when I worked in the business world: clients losing their shit over nothing, and taking their frustrations out on the people below them.

My late grandfather's favourite expression was "Shit flows downstream." That's the business world for you.

In the dream I got into work just after 8 in the morning, and all day I kept reminding myself I had to leave on time. I'd promised to cook dinner for my grandmother.

In the real world, I've taken on more of a caregiver role in my grandmother's life. She's hard of hearing, legally blind, and has a number of physical limitations. I help her with things she can no longer do on her own: cooking, cleaning, paperwork, communications. I act as a support person on occasion. She's been asking me to move in with her for almost a decade. She trusts me. I know it hurts her that I always decline, but I'm not prepared to devote the rest of her life to being a full-time caregiver. I value my freedom too much.

Back in dreamworld, my workday went by in a stressful blur. The next time I looked at my watch, it was almost 11 at night. Well past dinnertime and I hadn't cooked my grandmother's meal. The pressures of work and family were pulling me in two directions and work had won out.

I woke up that morning feeling relieved to live this life and not that one. I don't make a ton of money as an author, but I earn enough to pay the bills. I have readers, not clients. I have time to devote to my family, to my relationship. I sleep in every morning and go to bed late every night.

I write stories for a living. I am incredibly grateful for the life I have.

I'm also so grateful to be in a position where I can use my work to raise funds for a number of organizations. My latest release, Food of Love, is an anthology of food sex stories. Sink that sweet tooth into this collection of gourmet erotica and you’ll not only feel great about your purchase, but you’ll also be doing your part to end food insecurity in Canada’s North. That’s because I'm donating 100% of royalties earned from this book to food banks accommodating immediate needs and community services with a long-term focus on country foods and land-based programs in Nunavut, Yukon and the Northwest Territories.

Food of Love is available from many vendors including Amazon
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