Thursday, October 2, 2008

That Explains the Donuts

You’ll have to excuse me if I sound a little light-headed; I’ve eaten nothing but donuts today. One after another, after another…and then one more. Maple cream, glazed sourdough, old fashioned chocolate, and a blueberry fritter. And you wondered why my blog was called Donuts & Desires!

That explains the “Donuts.”

As for the desires…let’s just say they’re being expertly fulfilled as well. Okay, maybe not four times a day (at least, not since that night a couple weeks ago when I took Sweet to the theatre. She really appreciated it.), but six months into our relationship, it still feels very new. We’re still figuring things out, especially when it comes to sex.

I’d never been involved with a transsexual woman before Sweet. She’d never been in a lesbian relationship before me. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever shared this with you, but in the beginning, Sweet was adamant that this relationship—this girl-girl sexual relationship we now share—would never manifest.

How irritating it was for me, finally meeting Sweet in her girl form and being incorrigibly attracted to her, only for her to say, “Too bad! You can’t have me.” By the time she formally introduced herself to me as a woman, we’d been at it like rabbits for months in our boy-girl relationship. I was beyond ready to embrace Girl Sweet, and not just emotionally. The moment she appeared on my doorstep in that long flowing skirt, wearing makeup and jewellery, I wanted her. I wanted her like mad. But it was “No, no, no” at every turn.

I remember thinking…
HE is my lover. SHE will barely flirt with me. How do I reconcile this dichotomy when I can do nothing but wait out her resistance?
HE is my lover. But SHE is more real than HE. How can I be truly important in this person’s life when SHE doesn’t want to be the object of my love and desire? When my sexual energy can only be meant for…HIM…the lesser half…?
Girl Sweet fought my desire, but I knew in my heart that her opposition was not an insurmountable obstacle. I loved her. She loved me. It would all work out.

So how did we get from there to here? I patiently eroded her resistance, of course. * smirk * Yes, there’s more to the story, but I’ll share that with you another day. Patience pays, my friends.

Bright Blessings,
Giselle Renarde