I need a cock.
Hmm…perhaps that statement demands clarification. What I should have said is that I need a strap-on harness and dildo set.
Can you believe I don’t already own one of these bad boys? Not for lack of desire—I’ve always had a strong craving to fuck my partners—but until now, I’ve never had a partner who was receptive to the idea of being fucked up the ass.
And now you’re asking yourself, “Doesn’t Giselle have a girlfriend? Haven’t we skipped a step, jumping straight to ass-fucking?”
Remember that my Sweet is a trans woman, so we’re limited when it comes to orifices. From her perspective, anal sex can’t begin to compare to her conception of how it would feel to acquire a pussy and get it fucked. Penis/dildo-in-vagina sex is in a class all its own, to her. She dreams about it, fantasizes of it—hell, we both do—but that’s not where we’re at. For the time being, she’s happy to accommodate my desire to screw her the only way I can.
So begins my online shopping expedition. Here’s what I’m looking for in a product:
a) Good value for the money always tops my list. Who wants to spend money hand over fist (oooh…hands and fists…dirty…) on an inferior product when you can usually get a pretty reliable toy at a reasonable price?
b) A harness that’s not going to break the first time we use it. The straps on some harnesses out there look pretty flimsy. I’d hate to get all excited only to break my new toy fresh from the box. (hmmm…also dirty…or am I just super-horny today and seeing double-entendres everywhere?)
c) A dildo that won’t send Sweet running out the door. I’m talking size, here. She’s never dabbled in anal play, so a giant toy is going to freak her out. Better to start small and get her adjusted to the idea and the feel of having something rammed up her backside.
d) I hate to say it—being one of those “looks don’t matter” feminist types—but I want a set that looks reasonably attractive. No harnesses that look like granny panties, please. As for the dong…nothing too realistic. Sweet likes to remind me that she’s not into guys, so no sense in jarring her with a big veiny cock.
e) While I’m spending money, it’s time for some new lube. Add a good bottle of anal lube to the shopping list to ease along the proceedings.
Happy Shopping to all you fine people out there on this lovely Organ Thursday*
Canada just got hotter!
*Devout CBC Radio Two listeners will remember where that term comes from. No offense, Jurgen Petrenko, but I was glad to see an end to that segment. It’s not you, it’s me. I never did like organ music.