Thursday, November 15, 2012

What You Lookin' At, Little Girl?


I'm procrasting. Are you procrastinating?  Good!  Here's something to read while you're wasting time.  If you recognize this post, that's because it was originally up at Torquere Press' blog, Romance for the Rest of Us. And if you don't recognize it, well, so much the better:



 Ageplay.


*gasps*

Yes, I said it.  Ageplay.

There are certain facets of BDSM that make (some) people super-uncomfortable, and ageplay is (definitely) one of them.  But ageplay is a game of a thousand faces, like any realm of domination and submission, and it doesn't have to involve diapers.  (Diapers seem to scare people the most, I think.)

I actually did explore that aspect of ageplay in a novella I wrote called "Nanny State," and the process of writing that book was actually incredibly illuminating.  My girlfriend, who happens to be *mumble-mumble* years older than I am, edited the manuscript for me and it sparked incredible discussions that we'd kind of held at bay until then.

"Age doesn't matter."

Isn't that what people say when they're involved with a romantic partner whose age is vastly different from their own?  Or is that just what the younger person says while the older one nods knowingly?

All my adult life, I've been involved with people who were older than me, and in most cases, significantly so.  If it's a trend, I guess I can't say "age doesn't matter," because I've obviously got a key demographic in my sights.

When I was in my twenties, I was involved with a man who would absolutely NOT use our age differential as a sexual tool.  Spanking was the most taboo word in that relationship.  He was old enough to be my father, and that made him so uncomfortable I'm amazed he didn't explode.

Now I'm partnered with a wonderful woman who is much more open to discussing topics that make (most) people uncomfortable.  It's been a revelation, in many respects, but working on Nanny State together really opened us up to possibilities we never imagined exploring.

If I slip up in conversation and call my girlfriend "Mom" (which has happened more than once), it doesn't upset her psychologically.  It doesn't make her re-evaluate whether we should be a couple.  No, it makes her laugh.  She always recognized that undercurrent and, what's more, she believes that the parent/child dynamic exists within every relationship, whether people are friends, family, lovers, same age or not.  (She's Freud to my Jungian schooling, but we make it work. LOL)

So you probably won't be surprised that the older/younger dynamic shows up in a great deal of my writing.  Like my Christmas story Naughty: Full to Bursting, available from Torquere Books.  In that story, Wanda is a little older than Janelle, and calls her "little girl," which Janelle likes even though she doesn't really want to like it.

What do you say?  Does ageplay squick you or is it awesome?  Or neither?  Are there realms of BDSM that you wouldn't ever explore?

Comment away, my friends!
Giselle Renarde
Canada just got hotter!
donutsdesires.blogspot.com

1 comment:

  1. Age difference is a real hot button for me, and it shows up in my work with Reno MacLeod with some frequency. Little Japan, A Perfect Game, Soft Focus, The Visionary: Welcome to the Fold, and the Let Them Try series all feature pairings with age differences of at least ten years, with most of them having a larger gap. Little Japan, in fact, features a protagonist who engages in actual ageplay, as well as a protagonist who does likewise.

    I'm 50,000 words into a new solo-written novel, the protagonists of which are 18 and 34. We also have at least three temporarily-shelved works-in-progress with significant age gaps between the protagonists.

    But then we regularly have twins banging each other, so I guess it all balances out. :-D

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