Thursday, June 19, 2008

I'm Ruined!

Remember way back (okay, it was only a couple weeks ago) when I mentioned in passing that my new lover, the Sweet Transvestite, gives the best head ever? Remember how I said his tongue provides better clitoral stimulation than my vibrator? (If you missed the stark raving mad review, click here)

Yeah, so, I wasn’t exaggerating about that.

There’s a certain type of orgasm I’d only ever experience in the company of my go-to vibe before the days of Sweet. Two weeks ago, for instance, he had me up on a countertop. I don’t mind telling you that boy licked my clit until my foot started shaking like a hyper-happy puppy. It was completely out of my control, that foot motion. He’d found the sweet spot. He knew just what to do. I still haven’t figured out precisely what he was doing but, hell, it gets me off so why ask questions?

That frozen-in-time ecstasy was precisely the orgasm feeling I’d only ever had alone. But that was before Sweet. And it’s not that he’s merely on par with my vibrator. No, no, no. The vibe is a one-trick pony. It may vibrate faster or slower, but all it’s ever going to do is vibrate. Sweet is so much better. Sweet gives me variety.

There’s a problem, here.

My Sweet is on holiday right now. Guess what? I’m not. Try as I may with lesbian porn and no fewer than two vibes, I just can’t get off. AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!! (that’s my sexual frustration speaking) Is it not the most irritating thing in the world to go at your clit for an hour and derive only flickers of pleasure from the experience?

He’s ruined me, that Sweet Transvestite. I’m hooked on the special brand of pleasure he gives me when he’s working away, face between my thighs. I can’t get that kind of satisfaction anywhere else. I’m frustrated, irritated, and left with nothing to show for it but a sink full of sex toys to wash. I’m ruined!

(How many days until Sweet comes home…?)