Saturday, May 8, 2010

For All Queer Daughters of Heterocentric Mothers

It's mother's day. I wish I had something uplifting to say about that.

Last year I would have sung my mother's praises. I do love her, and she is quite a nice person overall, but she seems to be having a delayed negative reaction to my queerness.

I came out as queer years ago. Some people don't like that identification. My own girlfriend doesn't. Oh well. It's right for me. Anyway, my queerness isn't something I hide from my family. I don't pretend to be straight. Only now, I'm realizing how easy it is for the heterocentric masses to gloss over statements like, "My girlfriend and I went to the symphony." Oh, yes, you and your female friend. Nothing wrong with that. No, girlfriend. GIRLFRIEND. Significant other. Do I have to refer to her as my lover for people to understand how important this woman is to me? How crucial she is to daily life?

It's no wonder people think lesbians are too aggressive, or that gay men push their identities on a society of innocent bystanders. We are invisible otherwise! Even if we manage to hit home the point that, yes, I'm in queer relationship, aren't we most commonly written off as experimenting? Don't worry, Martha, it'll all blow over and she'll settle down with a nice boy soon enough and start pumping out grandchildren for you.

*bites knuckle* I promised myself I wouldn't rant...

Meanwhile, my girlfriend Sweet's homophobic mother has been taken to hospital again. She's dying of cancer. I don't know what more to say about that, so I'll just let it sit.

Sorry to be an aggressive lesbian. Nerves are a bit frayed these days. Please, please, give me some good news of good mothers. Please?

Giselle Renarde
Canada just got hotter!

1 comment:

  1. I wish I could give you good news. I completely relate to your post, though. My mom's been hanging out around Tea Partiers; she's gotten far less accepting of both my queerness and my brother's atheism since.

    I also get what you're saying about how straight people want to semantically erase queerness. I use the word "wife" a *lot*.

    (Came via Queers United link.)