Monday, December 6, 2010

A Christmas Unmiracle

I still believe in karma. I do. But after today's event, I also think pigeons are evil.

Since October, I've been complaining about the lack of snow. I love winter. Snow is my friend. So, when today I woke up to a downy-white city I threw on my boots and went out for a walk.

So, I'm walking down the sidewalk and what do I come upon? Garbage! That's right: human litter all over the beautiful snow. Nothing pisses me off quite like this brand of laziness, rudeness, and disrespect for both the planet and the community.

What do I do? I scoop it right up, of course. I bend down, pick up that litter, and take off down the sidewalk intent upon tossing it in the next garbage can I spot.

Well, I didn't get two steps forward before I was bombarded--and we are talking BOMBARDED--by like 40 pigeons. I felt it, man. And when I looked down, I was downright covered in crap. It wasn't merely all over my coat, hat, and mitts. No, no, no. That would have let me off too easy. Because my hands were upturned to hold my big stack of garbage, pigeon shit managed to find its way INSIDE the cuffs of my jacket too. YAY!

Now I'm walking down the street, carrying garbage in my arms, and covered in crap. And cursing the pigeons.

I admit, the first thought to run through my mind was, "Karma, my ass! I try to do something beneficial and this is the thanks I get?"

But, you know what? That's just the way it is sometimes. SOMETIMES you do something beneficial to the environment or to your community and you still get shit all over. Doesn't mean I'll stop doing it. Whatever you do to lend a helping hand, somebody will come back with criticisms of your actions. It's inevitable.

At least today my only critics were pigeons. (Evil beady-eyes sky rats!)

Giselle Renarde
Canada just got hotter!

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