Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Sizzling Ghost Stories (an erotic paranormal collection at an incredible price!)

From some of the bestselling names in erotica comes a book full of sizzling encounters with ghosts and other things that go bump in the night, guaranteed to leave you breathless in more ways than one. Authors like Selena Kitt, Carl East, Delilah Fawkes and more, bring you paranormal chills with the sexiest of thrills - stories that are sure to raise your temperature a notch or two!

Warning: not for readers of a delicate disposition - these stories are likely to set the heart racing and fill the reader's head with wild and erotically charged sexual fantasies. You are advised to read these on your own but be sure to keep the lights on - just in case!

Which stories?
  • Oubliette
  • The Lady in White
  • Dominated by His Ghostly Touch
  • Branded by the Rancher's Ghost
  • Hide From Him
  • The Laundry Chute
  • Spirit
  • Love Returns
  • The Haunted House

Get Sizzling Ghost Stories NOW for only $0.99! 


Monday, December 30, 2013

That Little Perv Is At It Again: My Sexy Teacher, My First Time

Remember Lexi Wood? Sure you do. She's the sock puppet who's got her own section on my blog. She drives me nuts, but I just can't say no.

I thought she'd given up on smut after her first novella (Dance for Daddy, Salome) was banned by Amazon.  It might be back now (as something like Dance for ME, Salome, since you can't say "Daddy" at Amazon) but what the hell do I know?  That's Lexi's problem.

Anyway, she's got another ebook on the market now. It's a barely-legal first-time student/teacher piece of crap called My Sexy Teacher, My First Time.  I don't even know why I'm telling you about it.  I do way too much for this chick.

But just in case erotica set in a 1970s high school appeals to you, here's the blurb and whatever:

Lots of girls have crushes on sexy high school teachers.  When eighteen-year-old April Andrews’ biology teacher tells her they can’t be together, will she take his rejection lying down?  Or will she try even harder to make him her first? 


When the bell sounded, I was surprised to hear him say, “Miss Andrews, would you stay a moment after class, please?”

Some of the girls made an “Ooooh” sound as they walked by me, and I realized for the first time how transparent I’d been, and how I’d put Mr. Lindbeck in danger of losing his job.  If the principle thought there was anything going on between my teacher and I, Mr. Lindbeck would be fired for sure.  It didn’t matter that I’d already turned eighteen and was officially an adult—I was a student and any relationship that blossomed between us would be utterly unacceptable.

Why had it taken me so long to realize that?

I approached the long podium from which Mr. Lindbeck taught, and even before the class had cleared out I apologized for what I’d said the week before.

“Never mind,” he replied, in a way that made me think perhaps he wasn’t angry anymore.  “You missed half a week’s work, Miss Andrews.  There’s plenty of catching up to do if you don’t want your grades to slip.”

“Thank you,” I said.  I still couldn’t bear to look him in the eye.  “I’m sorry.  I mean it, sir.  I’m terribly, terribly sorry for saying… what I said.”

He chuckled as the last students filtered out of the classroom, and he closed the door after them.

And locked it.

If you actually want to buy Lexi's stupid story, it's available from Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/375134

Sock Puppet Author Lexi Wood
LEXI WOOD is a sock puppet who came to life one night while her keeper was out picking up Chinese food.  When nobody’s around, she bashes her face against a typewriter until stories come out. And those stories are shocking.

Lexi’s exterior is 53% acrylic, 37% nylon, and 10% recycled tinsel.  On the inside, she’s full of bloodlust, wanderlust, lust-lust, bathtub gin, and pills she found on the floor.  She also got into those tranquilizers you give your cat to get it in the travel carrier.  You shouldn’t leave those things lying around.

Handmade in Vulgaria.

When she’s feeling dirty, Lexi likes to be held in soapy water and rubbed vigorously.  In her spare time, she sits on the shelf, waiting for someone to shove a fist in her hole. 

Who would? Lexi Wood!

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Waxing is for Pussies: Act fast and you just might get it FREE!

A kinky lesbian threesome for anyone who enjoys hot wax, slick lips, and warm tongues.

Claire is a butch dyke who doesn't go in for "girly" stuff. When her girlfriend Billie takes up hot waxing at the salon where she works, she asks Claire to be her test subject. She also asks the gorgeous receptionist Soo Jin to give her hand. How will Claire and Billie react when Soo Jin takes the request for help as an invitation to a kinky threesome?


I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to see what was going on. In fact, a set of headphones would have been nice. Then I wouldn’t have been able to hear Soo Jin scolding my girlfriend as she did everything wrong.

Leaning close, Soo Jin licked my nipples. That tongue was magic. She blew cool air on my tits just as Billie came in with the wax. It felt like hot honey spreading through my pubic hair and down my inner thighs. I understood food fetishists a little better as hot wax spread across my skin, making me wet.

“Now put the muslin on top and press down,” Soo Jin instructed.

Billie did as she was told, applying pressure to the strip of fabric. “Is it okay, Claire?”

“Oh yeah.” I moaned as Soo Jin led her hot tongue across my chest. “I’m feeling pretty great right now, I gotta say.”

With a smirk that could have been mistaken for cruel, Billie said, “Good.”

Soo Jin turned toward Billie and her silky hair splashed across my chest. Billie raised a conspiring eyebrow as her co-worker said, “Remember to slap her. Slap her hard. It’s got to be hard.”


Act fast and you just might get it FREE!
Waxing is for Pussies will be up at Amazon soon, but for now you can get it at All Romance Ebooks
and Smashwords https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/392486

And as long as you're at Smashwords, you might as well use this coupon:

Promotional price: $0.00
Coupon Code: KR28N
Expires: January 7, 2014

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

I see that glint in your eye. You want your present!

Well, of course I have a gift for you!  Remember my nasty lesbian anal fetish story Elementary, My Dear Kathryn?  It's back, and from December 24, 2013 until December 28, 2013 it's FREE at Amazon.

If you enjoy a tale of lesbian threesome BDSM and ass-licking (there's even an enema in there!), then Elementary, My Dear Kathryn is the ebook for you.

If you don't enjoy kinky anilingus, then sorry to show up at the party empty-handed.  I brought these hors d'oeuvres and a bottle of wine and I didn't know other people would be bringing gifts...

Get Elementary, My Dear Kathryn FREE right now:



Merry Christmas Eve!

Monday, December 23, 2013

You'll Never Believe What Amazon's Blocked Now! (and a $0.99 box set sale!)

I can't say I was 100% surprised when I got an email from the publisher of my Wedding Heat series telling me Wedding Heat: Pretty Cousin has been blocked by Amazon.

My "Pretty Cousin" has been available from Amazon for... how long now?  Almost two years, I think. The story is about lesbian cousins who are NOT blood-relatives, all of which is expressed in the blurb. A little while ago, Amazon cleansed itself of sex between family members (blood or no blood) and unpublished the book.

At that time, they set the the file to "draft" on the back end, saying the blurb etc. needed to be modified to conform to their terms of service. Of course, they never spell out those terms but, hell, they're Amazon--they don't have to.

So, anyway, how do you take the "cousin" out of Pretty Cousin?  It's right there in the title. The book never made its way back onto Amazon's sales floor and just last week my publisher got word that it's been officially BANNED... BY... AMAZON!  That means they lock down the file on their end so no changes can be made and you can't attempt to re-publish it.  Banned.  Blocked.  The end.

Maybe not so surprising.  We all know Amazon's got a hate on for taboo erotica.

Here's the part that will shock and amaze you:

A couple days ago I got an email from Amazon.  It was about the multicultural Holiday Romance Box Set I published at the end of November.  Guess what?  They unpublished it.  They took my cute, funny, fairly tame collection of erotica and erotic romance, removed it from sale, and set it to draft. As usual, they didn't specify any reason--just that it violated their terms of service.

What?  Are you kidding me?  How could it possibly?  There's no taboo content in this collection AT ALL.  There's some menage in the second novella, some adultery in the first--readers might not all like that so much; I know it's contentious--but there's absolutely nothing in the blurb that would indicate a violation of Amazon's terms of service.

I read through the blurb (this blurb) with my eyes peeled for the word that had sent up red flags:

“A Mistress’ Christmas” is a strange, dreamy trip through a young woman’s gift to her lover. She wants to give him everything, but where would he put it? Sometimes the best place to hide a secret is in plain sight.

In “All The Way,” one lucky girl spends Christmas with two sexy guys. When Josie invites her high school boyfriend Kaz to stay with her family over the holidays, there are a few things she doesn't anticipate: Kaz admitting he's still a virgin after all these years? That's a weird surprise. Her husband Rob's attempt to give Kaz a little training in the hot tub? A weird and very sexy surprise. But after the married couple treats him to some of the best nights of his life, who will Kaz fall for?

“Out of the Cold” finds geeky Amira is desperate for fun. When she meets Keith at a first aid course, she sneaks a peek at his registration form to get his email address. After exchanging some very naughty notes, they plan a get-together on New Year's Eve… but the man she meets up with isn’t Keith at all! Will Amira ring in the New Year with her online romance, or will she be left out in the cold?

And then it hit me: VIRGIN.  I've heard a few people mention they'd had issues with Amazon unpublishing books containing "virgin" in the title.  I think it sends up their "barely legal" flags (which is an issue in itself--barely legal is LEGAL ffs!) despite the fact that my guy is in his thirties!

So here's what I did: I revised that blurb, replacing "he's still a virgin..." with "he's still hung up on her after all these years."  I re-submitted it and guess what?  It's back. Easy as that.

What the SERIOUS fuck?  Amazon's tearing evil erotica off their shelves for containing the word "virgin" in the blurb?  I can't even... ugh!

As a little sorry-for-the-inconvenience to you (though, honestly, Amazon should be sorry-for-the-inconveniencing me!), I've put my Holiday Romance Box Set on offer for $0.99:

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Holiday-Romance-Box-Set-Multicultural-ebook/dp/B00H2NAYUO/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1387783635&sr=1-3&keywords=holiday+romance+box+set

Enjoy it while you can--never know what they'll ban next!
Giselle Renarde
Canada just got hotter!