Thursday, July 30, 2015

These Pretzels Are Making Me Cranky

Did I say pretzels? I meant this weather. This hot, humid, Extreme Heat Alert weather is making me cranky as hell.

I'll give you an example: I visited my mom last weekend. Pretty normal visit. Nothing out of the ordinary. No major controversies or anything. I love my family and we have a good time together, but here's one thing I'll tell you about my mother: she never shuts up.

I always forget that about her when we're not together. She's such a nice, tame, soft-spoken person that you wouldn't expect her to talk your ear off. But MY GOD. She doesn't have an off button.

And it's not like she's got anything interesting to say. I know how mean that sounds, but that's why I'm prefacing this post by saying I'm cranky. Cranky makes me notice it more, I guess.

Anyone will tell you my mom is a terrible storyteller. If she repeats someone else's hilarious anecdote, it comes out totally tedious. But what's worse is that she's always telling stories about people I don't know (ie. the complete work history of Brenda's granddaughter. "Who is Brenda?"  "Oh, I met her on the train."), or nitty-gritty work stories I don't understand (on and on about some glitch with a piece of software I've never heard of), or she'll repeat something, say, my aunt told her when I was standing right there.

That last one has bugged me since I was a child. I remember my mom retelling entire series of events in the car on the way home from a family gathering, and all my siblings going, "We know what happened! We were there!"

Or she'll get out her Blackberry and just read emails at me. Entire emails. From people I don't know. Or business correspondences. From people I don't know. One after another after another.

Shut up! Just stop! I don't care about any of this!

And I'll give her subtle hints I'm not listening. (You know when something's so boring your brain goes numb? That.) Like I'll read the paper. Or leave the room. Reading the paper doesn't work--she just keeps talking. Leaving the room doesn't work--she just follows me.

This is nothing new. Happens all the time. But this weekend I picked up my shit and said, "Nice visit. See ya later," and I just left.

It was pretty rude, but I'm not sure she even noticed. She was probably still talking when I was gone.  She's the kind of person where you can honest-to-god put down the phone for three minutes and when you come back she's still talking to you.

I shouldn't complain. I have a great mom. She's super-supportive and non-judgmental and she loves my girlfriend and that's great. But, my god.

Like I said: the weather's making me cranky. And if it's making you cranky too, you're probably thinking, "Stop complaining and appreciate your mother!"

Good advice. I will definitely do that... from a distance. Thanks for putting things in perspective.

Stay cool, my friend.

Saturday, July 25, 2015

#MySexySaturday Wet Weekend in Our Sexy Place

A weird thing happens when I sit down to write dirty, dirty fetish erotica: it becomes really... REAL. Emotional honesty always seems to break through the kink.

That's one reason I want everybody to snap up a copy of my new release, Wet Weekend. We're talking about a set of six sequential stories about a lesbian couple discovering their shared love of all things pee.

WAIT! Come back!

I know not everybody's over the moon about golden showers, but this collection is so... so... what's the word? Different?

I don't think I can sum up how I feel about Wet Weekend in just one word. I lovingly refer to it as my lesbian pee book, but it's about so much more than what the women DO to each other. It's about who they ARE to each other. That's what makes it special.

This week's My Sexy Saturday topic is Our Sexy Place, so it's apt that I'm featuring a book which takes place during a weekend getaway. The following 7 sentences are pulled from Talia and Cassie's drive up to the resort hotel. Cassie has to pee, and she has to pee BAD:

Nobody around, thank goodness.

I swung open the passenger door as soon as Talia came to a halt. Leaving my panties on the car mat, I raced through the tickly long grasses in my sandals. My summer skirt fluttered against my thighs as I ran to the trees.

Just like Talia said, there were strong, tall shade trees surrounding the farmland, blocking it from the highway. I had to whizz so badly I wouldn’t have cared if I was forced to pee in the middle of a field.

Pulling my skirt up and hugging it to my chest, I parted my feet and squatted. I got down so low the grasses brushed my pussy and my thighs.

Then a weird thing happened: I couldn’t go. I’d been holding it so hard, telling myself not to, that when I finally gave myself permission, nothing came out.

“Better?” Talia asked.

“Oh God!” I jumped when I looked up and saw her. She was standing not three meters away, keys in hand, watching me.

Since Wet Weekend is so special to me, I want everybody to buy a copy. It's on sale today for $0.99 so everyone with 99 pennies to spare can afford it. I strongly encourage you to pick up a copy. It's available from lots of retailers.

Like these ones:


Friday, July 24, 2015

A Strong Month for Transgender Fiction

June was an incredible month for print sales. You people must love paperbacks as much as I do! (I never could get the hang of ebooks--feels too much like work.)

I'm most excited to tell you that the vast majority of Giselle Renarde book sales in June were LGBTQ titles, particularly transgender fiction.

1. The All-Star June seller was my most recent anthology of trans love stories, which is especially cool and surprising because sales of the print edition have now surpassed sales of the ebook!

2. In second place, we've got Flash in the Pen--a book of super-short erotic stories. Y'all obviously want your flash fiction on paper!

3. In third spot, we've got my pet paperback: Friday Night Lipstick. It's a friends-become-lovers novella about older trans women falling in sappy, delicious lurve. I cry EVERY time I read the last chapter.

Honourable mentions include:

Have Yourself A Sexy Lesbian Christmas (in July, I guess?),
Don't You Savage Me (with all proceeds going to charities that serve Indigenous women),
Bisexual Beauties (the new kid on the block),
 Moving May (this stepbrother romance has sold very well in print--thank you!)

I could go on. It was quite a month!
Okay, one more: Monsters and Shifters and Men, Oh My!  

Thank you for buying my books!

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Wow, is that a Stayfree ad from 1973?

Nope! It's the cover of my upcoming lesbian pee book, Wet Weekend!

As I wrote this filthy little number, I tweeted about it a lot. All you wicked people got so excited I moved it up in my publication schedule. Hope you're still anxious, because it hits the market Friday.

Actually, you can preorder now for only $0.99, and I hope you will! It's weirdly good. It's weirdly romantic, too, for a book about women peeing on or around each other.

When Talia and Cassie set off on a romantic resort getaway, they never imagined they’d discover a wet and wild new fetish! Cassie’s a good sub who’d do anything for her girl, but what happens when Talia springs a scary surprise on her? If Talia requires total control over her bodily functions, will Cassie be ready to submit?
An unforgettable collection of lesbian fetish erotica.

If you've never read golden shower erotica (and if you're thinking "Why would I even want to?") I ho-heartily encourage you to give this one a go. Especially now, while you can get it for under a buck! Do it! Do eeeeet!

Amazon UK:


Who wears short shorts?

Monday, July 20, 2015

NOT your MOTHER'S Grapefruit

I guess it's trendy, these days, to marginalize our mothers' experiences and citrus fruits and what have you.
I don't know what this means!
I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment, but I couldn't throw this out without sharing. It's the label thingy from a bag of grapefruit--NOT your MOTHER'S Grapefruit, as it clearly specifies.  My mother isn't a housewife from the 50s (or a cartoon character, unfortunately--would have been fun, growing up with a cartoon mom) so not sure I would have made that assumption.

Oh, and in case you can't see the little letters above "Florida Ruby," they spell out: The Health and Beauty of the Modern Grapefruit.

et puis en fran├žais

Friday, July 17, 2015

FREE Dark Romance Alert!
My darkest story EVER appears in Take the Heat!

And while you're thinking about saving money on quality fiction, why not buy my new dark romance novelette, Sam and Delilah? It's on sale for $0.99!

After spending fifteen years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit, Sam tracks down the woman he holds responsible. Delilah testified she saw him murder his wife. No way was that possible. The moon had been full that night. He’d been in the woods, inhabiting his shifted form. Will Delilah be able to reason with Sam before his inner beast takes hold? A dangerously dark shifter romance novelette.

Amazon UK:


While you're scooping up dark romance, Monstrous Obsession is 75% off at Smashwords until July 31st with coupon code SSW75

Seven Kisses is 50% off with coupon code SSW50. If you love a good beauty and the beast dark romance, grab this book now!

Friday, July 10, 2015

Sweet & Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut

This week I've been featuring books by writers I adore. Here's why: (like I need a reason...)

Today's featured book is...

Sweet and Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut
by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sweet, sensual adoration and dirty, rough sex meet in this anthology of queer smut penned by Top Sex Blogger Sinclair Sexsmith. The complete collection includes sixteen of Sinclair’s best queer erotica short stories, full of dapper dates, femmes in pretty dresses, flogging, bondage, flirting on the subway, bold moves, and (of course) strap-ons. From ongoing lovers to one-night stands, the kinky queer butch top protagonist delivers heart and dominance, over and over.


“Sweet & Rough is the perfect title for this collection of raw, queer, kinky and passionate erotica that will appeal to smut connoisseurs as well as new readers looking for something hot and titillating to keep them up at night.” —Rachel Kramer Bussel, editor of The Big Book of Orgasms

“Sinclair Sexsmith’s writing is a surefire panty-wetter.” —Erika Moen, Oh Joy, Sex Toy

“So many girls, so little time. Sinclair Sexsmith’s new book is the kind of hard-driving, sweet, down and dirty, funny keep-you-on-the-damp-edge-of-your-seat, lovely, filthy erotica you’ve come to expect from this master of poetry and truth. Sweet & Rough will having you on your knees, begging for more.” —D. L. King, editor of Slave Girls: Erotic Stories of Submission

“Sweet & Rough has been a long time coming. For years, Sinclair Sexsmith immortalized their hottest sexual adventures as erotic stories on Sugarbutch Chronicles, earning a reputation as the Internet’s queer Casanova. Writing on BDSM, polyamory, butch/femme (and occasionally my personal favorite, butch/butch) desire, Sexsmith authored the world’s largest archive of kinky, queer erotica from a genderqueer, masculine of center perspective. Now edited for our eBook and paperback reading pleasure, Sweet & Rough: Queer Smut is a rare gift. You’ll want to take this one to bed.” —Jiz Lee, genderqueer porn star

“There are very few erotic writers who consistently capture my attention and admiration. John Preston did. So does Carol Queen. And I’ve added Sinclair Sexsmith to that list.” —Dr. Charlie Glickman, Make Sex Easy

Available from Amazon:

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Liquid Longing

This is the point in the week where I'm thinking, "Oh crap, there are so many wonderful writers I want to feature and only two days to do it." What if someone I love is watching and waiting, and they never see their name in lights, and then they feel jilted and drive-by 1-star all my books?

My mother would say, "Then they're not a real friend..."

This week, while I'm away, I'm featuring books by writers I adore. Here's why: (like I need a reason...)

Today's featured book is...

Liquid Longing - An Erotic Anthology of the Sacred and Profane
by Annabeth Leong

From Annabeth Leong’s penetrating view of the sensual, the sacred, and the profane comes an anthology of erotic tales of wonder. Passion flows, mercurial, through these eleven tales of sex, death, and rebirth. Curiosity mingles with shame, anger revels in worship, exploring desire of all types. Here are dead gods, undead starlets, and immortal creatures hungry for connection—a collection of love letters to human nature, with no easy answers among them.

Instead you will find intimate legends and infinite possibility. For every dark soul pining for something beyond their grasp, there is a moment of ecstasy to tantalize the heart and mind. The stories here do not represent the safe, sane, and consensual, and no awareness of risk can prepare you for the ultimate sacrifice.

Come, immerse yourself in Liquid Longing.

Available from Amazon:

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Chasing Shade

I want to tell you a secret: I do nice things for authors without ever telling them.Without ever telling anyone, actually. Except I guess I'm telling you now, so scratch that.

But I verily prefer helping people quietly instead of being all like, "Look at me doing this generous thing for so-and-so! Am I great or what?"

I'll tell you about one particular nice thing, because you might want to do it for an author you care about: I knew this person was having extreme financial difficulties, so I figured out her Amazon Associates code and bought all my purchases on it so she'd get little kickbacks. Even if it's only pennies at a time, it's something--and I approach life in a very "something is better than nothing" way. I don't have much to give, but it didn't cost me anything.

Anyway, this week I'm featuring books by writers I adore. Here's why: (like I need a reason...)

Today's featured book is...

Chasing Shade
by Sommer Marsden

If she was selfish, she’d let him love her. If she was more selfish, she’d tell him that she loved him too.

Betsey’s trying to recover from a violent past that’s still haunting her. Paying emotionally for something she’s never done. She’s created a small safe life.

Archie’s homeless, jobless, living on the road and clueless as to where he’s going. Until a hair piece and gas station directions leads him to her. Then he’s just trying to hold onto his emotions as he finds himself falling hopelessly fast for the girl in the yellow uniform.

Fate is not dealing them an easy happy ride, though. They’re trying to get through one day at a time. Making it work. Chasing shade…

Available from Amazon:

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Bent Over His Desk: Hot Office Kink

This week, I'm featuring books by writers I adore. Here's why: (like I need a reason...)

Today's featured book is...

Bent Over His Desk: Hot Office Kink
Edited by Alison Tyler

If you wished the film Secretary went all the way, this explicit erotic ebook featuring eleven wild, smart tales of kinky office sex gives you what you need. All the things we wish we could do to -- or with -- that hottie at the office, but can't in real life, become a reality for the vivid characters in this eleven story collection. Each story immerses you into a workplace where rules are broken, collars are mussed, and erotic punishment is swift -- and satisfying.

Bestselling editor and author Alison Tyler applies her erudite erotic curation skills to the topic of sex at the office, resulting in a volume of stories equal parts sexually explicit and utterly compelling.

These splendidly kinky tales of sex at the office twist, turn, arouse and inspire in ways that only today's bestselling erotica authors can deliver: Tyler brings together experts of the craft including Sommer Marsden, Alison Tyler, Thomas S. Roche, Sophia Valenti, Dante Davidson, and more.

"I had this whole big thing planned out; I was going to chastise her for flirting with me, threaten her with some sort of civil charge of sexual harassment, blah blah blah; I had a whole huge monologue in my head, to be delivered while I bent her over my desk and gave her the spanking she so richly deserved.

But when I saw her complete absence of peach-colored panties, a spanking seemed pointless."
—by Thomas S. Roche, from "Peach-Colored Panties"

This books contains adult situations, including spankings, female submission, backdoor play, bisexual women, and explicit scenes. The book also depicts non-monogamous relationships and sexual activity (and penetration) involving more than two individuals. Heterosexual focus.

Table of Contents
Introduction: Cock Around the Clock by Alison Tyler
On The Sly by Sommer Marsden
Peach-Colored Panties by Thomas S. Roche
Too Strong to Break by Sophia Valenti
Morning, Noon, and Night by Alison Tyler
Surrender by Sophia Valenti
The Silent Danger of Paper by Sommer Marsden
Cast of Three by Emilie Paris
The Suit and The Princess by Dante Davidson
On the Mend by Sophia Valenti
Eleven O'Clock Deadline by Thomas S. Roche
A Real Page-Turner by Alison Tyler

Available from Amazon:

Monday, July 6, 2015

Uncover Me

Last year, when I went to the cottage with my family, I filled my blog with other writers' books. It made me feel good to showcase the works of other authors, so I'm doing it again. They didn't ask me to and I didn't tell them I was doing it, but that's what makes me happy about this whole thing.

When people think you're a big deal (I'm talking mostly PR people, here), there's a lot of clambering at the gates of your blog. They want in. They want you to feature their clients. It kind of makes me laugh, because if they saw what I earn as a writer they definitely wouldn't think much of me. And, as I've said many times, I'm not a media outlet--I'm just an author with a blog. I'm not looking for content.

But I've been ruminating over this, and the fact that PR people want their clients' books (and other various products) featured here speaks more to the quality of YOU than of me. They want YOUR eyes on the prize. I'm just the middleman.

So kudos to YOU for being such in-demand readers. High-fives all around!

And here's today's feature--a book by my twitter pal and fellow Canadian...

Uncover Me
by A.M. Hartnett

The photos are becoming a compulsion for Carrie. As soon as she wakes up, she feels the need to engage with the readers of her erotic website, Dirty Pictures. No matter how hard she tries to focus on her real life the need is always there. The high is knowing that men desire her.

One day a comment on her erotic website makes Carrie go cold: one of her readers, Brendan, has recognised a landmark in the window of one of her pictures. Brendan knows where to find her and has sent a tantalising private message. His invitation to play was so tempting in no time at all, in a variety of settings, their sensual adventures become wild. Her sexual and emotional reawakening reaches peaks she never imagined possible.

But Carrie finds it difficult to treat their relationship as casual. Terrified of heartbreak, she breaks off her affair with Brendan. Her previous relationship left her in tatters and she’s too scared to take such a chance again. Brendan endured a broken marriage so she’s not alone in her confusion and reticence. But can Carrie ever hope to be more than his fantasy girl?

Available from Amazon:

Saturday, July 4, 2015

#MySexySaturday Sam and Delilah: Dangerously Dark Shifter Romance

Okay, so five minutes ago I said I needed to get off this computer because I haven't started packing yet. I'm going into the woods in mere moments (slight exaggeration) and I've got a billion things to do (literally a billion), but I wanted to give you a My Sexy Saturday post before I go, so here it is.  

Sam and Delilah: Dangerously Dark Shifter Romance comes out next Friday, but you can preorder it today! Right now!

When I write dark romance, it gets pretty... pretty dark...

And this novelette has a shifter in it, too, so doubly dark.

For your reading pleasure, here are the first 7 sentences from Sam and Delilah:

Sam’s nails scratched the concrete as he paced his cell.

Every breath was a huff, every agile movement a study in restraint.

He’d tried so many times to burst through that dark metal door, but it was no use. If he made another effort to break it down, he’d only wake up the following morning with a dislocated shoulder. He’d been there before. The blinding pain wasn’t even worth the fleeting attention he might garner from the prison’s female medical staff. The infirmary’s nurses were cruel, stone-faced monsters—almost as beastly as Sam himself.

Preorder today!

Amazon UK:
Amazon Canada:
Amazon Australia:


Huge Smashwords Sale! It's Everything You Could Dream Of!

If you dream of my erotica, that is. And you probably do. I mean, I do... if I'm lucky.

I'm going into the woods this week. While I'm away, I encourage you to buy my books. Real original, huh? But there's a good reason I'm saying this: Smashwords is having a huge-ass motherfucking summer sale (I believe that is the official name), and pretty much every book I've published there is on sale.

Some books are 25% off.
Some are 50% off.
Some 75% off.
And some are FREE

I don't so much like the system they use, because when you click the link I'll give you in a sec and scroll through my books, it'll look like everything's full price. It's not until you click on a particular title that you'll see, on the right side of its book page, what % you'll get off and what the coupon code is. I wish they'd just show the sale price. That would be a lot less confusing.

But if you love to browse, I've got... I don't know... hundreds of books to choose from? Right here, yo:

Just scrolllll through the page. This sale is on until the end of July and it'll probably take you that long to explore all ma books.

But I'm going to quickly draw your attention to the fact that Adam and Sheree's Family Box Set is on sale for 25% off. That's special because this collection has never been on sale before.

Adam and Sheree's Family Box Set contains a trilogy of hardcore brother/sister incest erotica novellas (no I'm not kidding--I really wrote three whole books about siblings who fuck) and it's probably my best work. No, still not kidding. If you bought all three books separately they'd cost you like $15, so this is a steal:

If you're going, "Jeeze, Giselle, why are you trying to pawn off that sinful smut on me? I only like classy-ass erotica," well have I got a book for you! Everybody Knows, my latest anthology of lusty love stories featuring transgender characters, is on sale at 50% off: That's an amazing deal.

An odd little piece of trivia for you: Everybody Knows is my only book that's sold more print copies than ebook copies.

Neat, huh?

If you're going, "Nah, talk smutty to me," okay, I can do that. Or, actually, Lexi Wood can. Because most of her catalog of pure, unadulterated smut is on sale as well:

I could tell you about a million things more, but I'm leaving in the morning and I haven't even packed yet. So buy books! I'll be reading all week. You read too. We'll be twins.

See you on the flip-side!
Snuggles and Huggles,