Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Your Nail Polish Isn't Supposed to Match Your Hair?

Call me the Giver of Bad Gifts. I don't mind. I know it's true.
I love buying things for my girl--little things, big things, gestures, necessities. I can recall buying Sweet everything from jewellery to light bulbs. In the end, I just want to make her smile and feel appreciated, feel special. I want to show her she has a girlfriend who listens when she says something like, "Damn, the little lightbulb in my fridge just burnt out."

Here's the problem with the whole gift-giving situation: I have really bad taste. I'm talking super-craptacular taste in fashion. I don't have an eye for that stuff. I don't care what I look like. I'll wear clothes full of holes as long as they're comfortable--it really makes no difference to me. I don't wear makeup except by force, and I don't know a thing about colour co-ordination and all that. I don't even know how to put on eye shadow, despite having watched Sweet do it a hundred time. When it comes to fashion, style, and cosmetics stuff, I'm an absolute dunce. Seriously.

And here's a little exchange to showcases my point:

Me: I picked you up a little something. Nail polish--that fancy brand you like.

Sweet (looking at the bottle): Oh... thanks..?

Me: I bought you this one because I figured it would match your hair colour.

Sweet (still looking at the bottle): O...kay... yeah, it does...

(long pause)

Me (finally clueing in): Nail polish isn't supposed to match your hair colour, is it?

Sweet: Uhhmmm... no.

The sucky thing is that I try. I really do. When I picked out that nail polish for Sweet, I put a lot of thought into my choice. I lined up a bunch of different colours, I narrowed my selection down, looked at them from different angles. There was solid reasoning behind my pick, but...just... fail. Epic fail.

Sometimes I feel like a typical run-of-the-mill "dumb guy"--the kind of guy women tear to shreds because they're just so stupid and "Why don't they get it?" and "It's really not all that complicated." But you know what? Arbitrary fashion rules (and other rules) are complicated when you don't know what you're doing. My intentions are totally there, but I just don't understand a lot of the things my girlfriend likes well enough to go out and purchase something awesome for her. I fail epically every time I try to give her something fashionable.

But I'm learning. Slowly. Slowly like... soil erosion... In the meantime, it sucks to be so off-base. Oh well. The thought's there, and I know I get points for effort. (And points=sex stuff, so I really can't complain LOL)


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