Thursday, October 11, 2012


It's National Coming Out Day, which, according to Wikipedia, IS observed here in Canada, so I thought I'd take the opportunity to say I'm here, I'm queer, you're probably used to it.  I guess I'm not COMING out, since I've never been shy about telling you all the dirty details of my sexual and romantic life, but why not take the opportunity to celebrate my sexual identity?
I'm not sure if I've blogged about the concept of "coming out" before, but I firmly believe that coming out is something we do every day, not just once and then it's over and we can live our lives as happy queers.  Coming out happens every time we walk down the street holding hands with our sweethearts.  Coming out happens every time we make small talk at a function and mention in passing our girlfriends or boyfriends or husbands or wives.  Coming out happens in linguistic selection, in not veiling our awesome selves.  

If our sexual and/or gender identifies evolve within our lifetimes, coming out can happen multiple times with the same set of people--family, friends, coworkers.  Those of us who identify as queer, bi, or even gay or lesbian, can express true solidarity by expressing our queerness verbally and vocally when/if we happen to be partnered with people of the "opposite sex" (I don't like that term, but can't think of a better one off-hand).  That's when the outside world will be most inclined to view us as straight.  I'm talking, for instance, when I was in my twenties and had a long-term partner who was a man.  People look at that and say "straight folks" and it takes a lot of effort to drive the queer point home.  We've got to be extra-loud when our visible out-in-the-world actions don't tell the whole story of our identities.  

We are constantly making choices, oftentimes not even aware we are doing so, that will determine whether we make our sexual identities known to strangers and acquaintances or not.

It's not a one-time dealy, just do it and you're done.  Every day is coming out day.

But especially today.

If you're coming out for the very first time today, or in an especially big way (like, if there's a pinata and cake involved), then all the power to you.  And I would like a piece of cake, please.


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