Swept Away Blog Hop Stop: My Big Fat Fail of a Valentine's Day

Welcome to the Giselle Renarde stop on the Swept Away Valentine's Blog Hop!

Let's start with the good stuff: what you get.  I'm not giving a free ebook to one lucky reader, or even two or three.  Nope.  I'm giving a free ebook to EVERY visitor.

The easiest way to do this is make the book FREE at All Romance ebooks for the duration of the hop, so that's exactly what I've done.  If you hippity-hop over to ARe, you can pick up your free copy of my shapeshifter fairy tale (based on the Brothers Grimm story Allerleirauh), A Tale of Fur and Flesh: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-ataleoffurandflesh-625148-142.html


Now on to the big fat fail portion of my post.

My Valentine's Day began to big-fat-fail LAST YEAR (it started early!), when I bought an opera subscription with my mother and let her pick the dates.  Sure enough, she got us tickets to Tristan und Isolde (a 5-hour opera, if you're not familiar with it) for Valentine's Day.

I have a sweetheart in my life, as many of you know. Sweet and I have been together nearly 5 years, and, fortunately, we're both pretty anti-V-Day.  The commercialism of Valentine's Day bugs the hell out of her, even more than it bothers me--and I didn't think that was possible.  So we never celebrate by going out or buying each other gifts.

But I figured, since I was meeting my mother downtown, I would buy a cupcake from Mom's favourite little cupcake shop.  My mom doesn't have anyone special in her life, romance-wise, so I thought that it would be a nice gesture.

Well, I got to the cupcake shop and it was PACKED.  They were so busy they actually had a security guard on duty to corral the crowds.  There must have been 30 people in line when I overheard from someone on staff that there were only 7 cupcakes left.

Okay. So, screw that idea.

I thought I'd buy my mom some gourmet tea to help her get over the cold she's had for a week.  I went to the specialty tea place, but guess what?  Sold out.  Of course!

So I met my mom giftless, not that she minded.  Here's the thing: once we took our seats and the Canadian Opera Company's production of Tristan und Isolde kicked up, we realized... wow... we really could have used the sugar from that cupcake I couldn't get.

Dude.

I LOVE opera.  I love classical music.  I love theatre.  I have never in my life walked out on anything.  But I did walk out on this.

I have never seen such a dismally lacklustre opera production.  No sets beyond a black box. Basic black costumes.  Instead of giving us something great to watch while these performers sang their asses off for 5 hours, they gave us a huge movie screen broadcasting some art school crap.  Oh my god, SO MUCH GRATUITOUS NUDITY!  And, hello, I write smut for a living.  When I complain that your opera has too much nudity in it (especially when I'm sitting next to my mother watching it), that says something.

I wish I could do a better job describing to you how terrible this production was, but it killed so many of my brain cells that I can barely form sentences right now.  Thank god we left after the second act or I'd be a zombie right now.

Oh, and speaking of zombies, my mother kept falling asleep during this opera... and my mother makes movie monster noises in her sleep... so every 10 minutes or so I heard moaning beside me and I had to jab her in the ribs to wake her up.

Happy Valentine's Day to me!

So I came home to my girl (on the phone, not in person--we're a long distance couple unless she's working in the city) and after a big fat day of failure... awwww.... just the sound of her voice made the fail go away.

Which is what happens every time I hear her voice.  My sweetheart makes life's big fat fails all melt away.

Awww...

Hope your V-Day was full of awww...

And if it wasn't, here's a free book: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-ataleoffurandflesh-625148-142.html

Hugs,
Giselle

Oh, and guess what? For the kinksters in the crowd, I've got a new book hitting the market TODAY. It's called Kinksters: 10 stories of wild group sex, bisexual fun and kinky pleasures!  Check it out at Amazon:

Revealing Cover Reveal: Stripping My Son's Sleeping Girlfriend

I wrote some smut.  I mean SMUT.  S-M-U-T.

Not erotic romance, not even "erotica," really.  Just smut. 

I usually use the terms "erotica" and "smut" interchangeably, but to me, erotica is more inclined to make you think.  There could be some character development.  It might be "about" something more than just sex.

"Stripping My Son's Sleeping Girlfriend" is JUST about sex. First-time lesbian MILF sex, to be exact.  It's a short story.  Don't look for character development.  It's not there.  My editor says it's got heart, but that's her opinion LOL.

Anyhoo, after all that teasing, here's the cover:

Coming to loveyoudivine Alterotica's new STROKE line February 22, 2013.
Hugs,
Giselle

Guest Post: "Exposing Myself" by David Sullivan

I read the following post on the blog of my fellow loveyoudivine author David Sullivan, and asked him if I could scoop it up and bring it to you.  He's such a doll.  Here he is, exposing himself:

I love to write and create stories from life. Well, don’t all authors do that? I add my sometimes silly sense of humor, the art of inventing words, and a significant dose of wise-ass to my stories so that I enjoy them, and to be honest yet humble, many others also find an interest and lust in them and that warms me.

I primarily write bi-sexual stories because I am bisexual, closeted for most of my life, out for 3 years, because I live in a safe part of the US (and the world) that doesn’t kill or drag non-straights behind cars.

If you’re interested in erotic (Yes, I mean horny, sexual) stories with a developed plot, please check out my new book, Hearts United. It’s a compendium of 8 short stories that is a coming of age for a young, American-born Italian lad who learns gay and bisexual conduct is thousands of years old, and that modern society sadly has reverted to a Dark Ages of sort by trying to make all of mankind gay or straight. Young Joshua DeAngelo is blessed with a loving, understanding father, and a dictatorial mother who lacks love and nurturing qualities.

Josh comes out to his best friend, Rachel, who lusts for his love. Josh does a men’s room hookup and falls for the guy, sexy Cole. In the end there’s an awesome 3-way that seals their love and friendships. Along the way Josh is ‘used’ by three college girls roleplaying as pirates, and Josh is seduced by a cougar (Stephanie) who teaches him new tricks, including orchestrating a 4-way with Cole, Stephanie and her client Torin.
The purpose of my life is to serve, and I hope I’ve served readers with this creation. I loved writing it and proudly, yet humbly offer it to the world for hot, steamy sexual entertainment. Why deny yourself anymore?

Check it out :
http://www.loveyoudivine.com/index.php?main_page=document_product_info&cPath=26&products_id=1089

From Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Hearts-United-ebook/dp/B00B8XXUH8/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1360612615&sr=8-4

Sincerely,
David Sullivan
Proud author of a phenomenal publishing house, Love You Divine!
And remember, regardless of your sexual identity, we all came from the factory as we are!

Thanks for letting me steal your post, David! 

Hugs, 

Giselle

Another Tearful Goodbye: Six Sentence Sunday is Gone

Maybe I'm late to the pity party with this announcement, but I've only just discovered that Six Sentence Sunday has shut down operation--hot on the heels of free erotica sites like Oysters and Chocolate and Every Night Erotica.

Six Sentence Sunday was a nice little marketing thingy (sign up your blog, then on Sunday post 6 sentences from one of your books, stories, or WIPs).  It had a wide following, too. Now it's gone. *poof*

Here's the seemingly hasty post that appears at http://sixsunday.com/:

Six Sentence Sunday has come to close.

This site does not endorse any sites, Twitter feeds, Facebook groups, etc duplicating the concept of Six Sentence Sunday or its efforts.

So, I guess that message is pretty clear.

Another one bites the dust.
Pity.

Rest assured, I'll never leave you.
Love always,
Giselle

(and if you're looking for free reads and erotic excerpts, check out the FREE SMUT section here at Donuts & Desires: http://donutsdesires.blogspot.ca/p/free-smut.html)

It's a Valentine Romance Sale!

Not sure this one's on sale~I just like the cover

I've got another Kobo sale to tell you all about.  This one is available to customers worldwide. Until mid-February, you can get 25% off Harlequin and Mills & Boon New Releases.


Details, details:

Save 25% on Harlequin/Mills & Boon New Releases (Code: VDay25)

Run: February 8th to February 15th at 11:59 pm

Promo Code: VDay25

Eligibility: WorldWide


Put 'er there, pal: http://www.kobobooks.com/browse/HarlequinMills__Boon/FU8pCRXzU0amGyR4t7LeZg-1.html?utm_source=linkshare_ca&utm_medium=Affiliate&utm_campaign=linkshare_ca&siteID=VbBlnHB4Z8o-GVfjs28DhGNcwgMFutJjOw

Finally, A Sale Just for Canadians!

Are you like me?  Do you get all tingly when you hear that it's Februany $5-footlong month at Subway, only to find out the sale's only on in the states?  Do you read the fine print closely before signing up for free samples ("US addresses only, bitch!") and lose sleep over insane delivery charges when you order from American websites? 

Then I've got a deal for you. If you're Canadian, that is.  And, if you're like me, you are. Canadian.

What I'm getting at is that Kobo, that seller of ebooks and ereaders, is having a 30% off sale just for us Canehhhhhdians.  What's more, they're sale-ing Indie Titles!  Woo-hoo!  What could be better?

Save 30% on Indie Titles (Code: Save30Feb13)
Run: Friday February 8th to Thursday February 14th at 11:59 pm
Promo Code: Save30Feb13
Eligibility: Canada only for this one.

Simple enough, I'd say.  Browse to your heart's content by clicking right here.

Wrap yourself in a blanket, forget about the snow, and read, read, read!
Hugs and cuddles,
Giselle

New Release: The Beast In Me (Historical MFM Werewolf Menage)

Someti-i-i-imes it tries to kid me that it's just a teddy bear...

Do you know this song?



It seems, these days, that all my story titles have something to do with music.  But The Beast In Me is less a rambling psychological monologue and more an historical werewolf threesome novelette.

Yes, werewolves.  And winter.  Oh, you'll like it--heat you up on a cold day like this.

Sarah doesn't have much in common with the other girls in town. She's never even kissed a boy… until the evening Anderson walks her home. Over time, Anderson presses her for more than just kisses, and on the one-year anniversary of their first kiss Sarah might just give in to his whims. But the woods are dark at night, and there are creatures about, howling in the distance.

When Anderson is accosted by a wolf under the light of a full moon, will Sarah save her beau? Or will she be caught in the crossfire? And if she survives the attack, will life ever be the same?

Be Warned: menage sex (MFM), anal sex

http://www.evernightpublishing.com/the-beast-in-me-by-giselle-renarde/

Excerpt:

I remember the smell of autumn leaves, of dank and meat and fire.

I remember the smell of wet dog, and sneezing so hard my head rang like a church bell. The pain shot through me, all the way down to my toes. The damp had found its way into my bones. There was a soup of sorts, fed to me by unknown hands. I could see nothing.

The world went black.

Snow was the next smell, so fresh it drove out the dog scent almost completely.

When I awoke, there was a man standing over me. Behind him, two things: light so bright I wanted to clamp my eyes shut against it, and darkness so black it disappeared into oblivion. As I fixed my gaze on the dark shape in front of me, I realized the blackness was in fact the interior of a cave, and the whiteness was snow at its mouth.

It was wintertime. I knew little else, but I did know that.

My thoughts were a jumble of half-remembrances. Some might have been life, some dreams. I had a feeling I’d dreamed more than lived lately, especially when I realized I had on only a soiled slip under a great heap of blankets. Wherever I was, I’d been there for some time.

“Sarah?” a man asked. “You’re awake, are you?”

I wasn’t afraid of him, because I knew him. His voice was familiar to me.

“Would you like a drink of water?” he asked. He took a step forward and I saw his shirtsleeves rolled up to the elbow, dark wool trousers and suspenders. “I have meat broth warming on the fire.”

“What happened to me?” I squirmed under the pile of blankets, feeling soaked with sweat and goodness knows what else. “Why am I here?”

I felt like I knew the answers to those questions, but I needed some clarification. The man kneeled down beside me, and I felt a smile beam across my face as I realized who he was.

***

Get The Beast in Me now from Evernight Publishing: http://www.evernightpublishing.com/the-beast-in-me-by-giselle-renarde/

And retailers like All Romance: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-thebeastinme-1056310-139.html

Or Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/The-Beast-Me-Romance-ebook/dp/B00BCUGZZQ/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1360339383&sr=1-2&keywords=the+beast+in+me

Also, can I ask a favour?  I'm trying to get this book 50 likes (or more) on Amazon.  If you've got a moment, could you click through and "like" it?

Thank you!
Giselle

The Street Change Challenge, continued...

A couple months ago, I told you about this royalty cheque I received in the amount of $1.90.  (Since then, I've done even better--I got a royalty statement for 10 pence!)  When I got that $1.90 cheque in the mail, I thought, "My God, I could probably pick up more change off the sidewalk!"

Street Change at 2 months (and Hello Kitty)

So that's been my challenge, ever since: pick up every penny I see and find out if I can "earn" more than $1.90 in 3 months. 

I promised you an update, so here's the deal after 2 months.

According to Hello Kitty, the 2 month total is $1.37.

Gettin' there!

As you can maybe see in the picture, 10 cents of that $1.37 consists of Canadian Tire Money, which I probably need to explain for my non-Canadian readers. 

See, Canadian Tire is Canada's oldest (I think?) big box type hardware store. They have a loyalty program called "Canadian Tire Money" where you get a certain percentage "money" back on purchases, except that "money" is only redeemable in-store.  Okay, not true currency, but if I get to count the American quarter I found, I'm going to count the Canadian Tire Money too.

So that's today's lesson in Canadiana.

I should mention that I also found nearly $20 worth of subway tokens in a station, but without even thinking I picked them up and handed them to the ticket collector.  All that was going through my mind when I found this little token pouch was, "The person who dropped this is going to be kicking themselves when they realize they lost it, especially if they're on a budget.  I hope they get it back!"  And I very much hope they do.

Oy, the compassion!

Anyhoo, the clock's a-ticking.  Once we hit the 3-month mark, I'll let you know if we've reached our target of $1.90.  Fingers crossed!  If I can't make more money picking up change off the sidewalk than writing fiction... well, I might just have to keep working as an author to earn my living.

Damn!

(kidding)

I'll keep you posted,
Giselle

Glitter in the Gutter and Rachel's BOGO deal

Coming soon to a bookstore near you: Twice the Pleasure: Bisexual Women's Erotica, edited by everybody's favourite cupcake, Rachel Kramer Bussel.

But coming RIGHT NOW is Rachel Kramer Bussel's super-special "buy one get one free" deal.  If you pre-order Twice the Pleasure this February, you'll get your pick of FREE erotic anthologies.  All the details are on her blog, where you can also read the introduction to the book: http://lustylady.blogspot.ca/2013/02/bisexual-erotica-bogo-in-february-2013.html

My story in Twice the Pleasure is called "Glitter in the Gutter."  The title is actually a lyric from this Metric song, Twilight Galaxy (from their album Fantasies):


"Glitter in the Gutter" features Dotschy and Connor, two characters with whom you might be familiar if you've ever read my short story "Spring Fever."

In "Glitter in the Gutter," love is messy.  Everything's messy--especially Connor's house, when Dotschy tracks him down to find out why he's been avoiding her at work.

See, Connor has opened himself to Dotschy more than he ever has with anyone.  He's let her see the "her" in him, introducing open-minded Dotschy to his cross-dressing self.  Now Connor is having a crisis of conscience and getting rid of everything--as many adults who identify along the trans, CD, or genderqueer spectrum have done at some point in their lives.  When Dotschy arrives, his front hall is cluttered with clothes destined for Goodwill.

Connor loves women's clothing, but he doesn't want to love them.  He's lost a lot in life, more than Dotschy knows, and all because of what others see as a perversion.  Nobody understands him except Dotschy, who loves how he looks dressed.  It's about more than just looks, actually.  When Connor is dressed, he's more himself... or... herself...?

Everything's messy right now, for Connor.  Gender is messy.  Is dressing enough, or does he want more?  Should he throw it all away and be a REAL man, or would he rather jump off a bridge than live without beautiful things?

There's only one thing Connor can be sure of: Dotschy cares deeply for him, and she's not going anywhere.

Pre-order now from http://www.amazon.com/Twice-Pleasure-Bisexual-Womens-Erotica/dp/1573449245/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1359942861&sr=8-1&keywords=twice+the+pleasure+bisexual

Cover Reveal! The Beast In Me (the one with three werewolves)

Twitter doesn't want me to share pics these days, so here we are, back at the blog, looking at a hot new cover.  Here's one I saw for the first time today, for my upcoming werewolf historical menage novelette "The Beast in Me."  It looks all professional and stuff. Love it!

Sarah doesn't have much in common with the other girls in town. She's never even kissed a boy… until the evening Anderson walks her home. Over time, Anderson presses her for more than just kisses, and on the one-year anniversary of their first kiss Sarah might just give in to his whims. But the woods are dark at night, and there are creatures about, howling in the distance.

When Anderson is accosted by a wolf under the light of a full moon, will Sarah save her beau? Or will she be caught in the crossfire? And, if she survives the attack, will life ever be the same?

Coming to Evernight Publishing February 8th, 2013

http://www.evernightpublishing.com/the-beast-in-me-by-giselle-renarde/